Caution Blind Driver

Black Friday Tourism

2009-11-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

Stolen from Bearfootden blogger:

Black Friday Tourism - driving around and taking pictures of all the silly people in line for sales.

Just had to share.

NaNoWriMo

2009-11-01T05:50:00.000-08:00

Yep. I finally did it. Signed up as an official participant. There's still time to join us. Go to http://www.nanowrimo.org to sign up, though you shouldn't be surprised if the servers are having trouble keeping up today. The Australians got a head start on the rest of us, of course, and there are always those who joined the parties here in the US last night and stayed up all night writing and got that extra hour of writing time from the time warp called the Daylight Savings Time shift.

Having grown up in Indiana, I think the whole daylight savings time gambit is a hoax of some sort perpetuated by a conspiracy of unknown people who profit from the foolishness in some way. But as you can see, I don't have the characters OR the plot fully fleshed out for THAT story, so I usually let it pass without comment other than -- oh hell, I have to figure out how to reset the braille watch without shutting it off. This used to be a much more difficult problem when I drove, since I often wouldn't or couldn't figure out how to reset the clock in the car until it was almost time to switch back, by which time I was used to subtracting an hour every time I looked at the thing, and so then when I DID get it changed, I'd start having those panicky moments of horror whenever I'd glance at the damned thing all over again soooo . . . Needless to say, it's one of the many anxieties that I gave up when I decided the vision was too low and I needed to quit trying to drive, legal or not. And, funny thing, since I quit driving and now rely on paratransit, I'm either early, on-time, or I don't come at all. An interesting mix of circumstances which lends itself to perpetual knitting projects and a snicker or two at the people who were always irritated when I was perpetually late due to my seemingly congenital inability to leave the house without doing JUST ONE MORE THING! I can now leave the house without doing "just one more thing," but still feel the pinch each time I go out the door. I don't think it will scar, though. The "one more thing I absolutely MUST do, however, is correctly fasten the crate door on the Husky's house, since Kala herself is STILL completely unable to resist eating my books when I'm gone if left free to munch any paper she chooses. She's excellent about resisting the books when I'm home, but the smell of binding glue is too tempting when left on her own for more time than it takes to walk one of the other two dogs.

Now, having procrastinated my morning writing for as long as I can justify, and having refilled my coffee cup, it's time to see about my preparations for this month. Caffeine, check. Left-over Halloween candy, check. Plenty of soups and instant meals, check. Plenty of cat food and kibble to allow the rest of the household to bide? Check. Cheerleading team? Check. Blatant self-promotion on Facebook to shame me into finishing? Check. New Blind-girl accessible netbook? Fully functioning and primed with outlines for all three acts of the novel and character descriptions, not to mention brainstorming sessions. All legal jump-starts. Fifty thousand words? Holy Crap! (grin) Okay. So, not so scary after the 100-page master's thesis, but still. Very different. Sad to say, I wrote most of the thesis in a month, too, after about four to six months of preparation. But I DID revise the thesis. Not revising this until December might actually break something inside me, some teacher-perfectionist function I might need again later. But then again, I might NOT need it again later, either.

I'm willing to risk it. I kind of feel in the mood to break a few things for the fun of it, and wine-glasses in the fireplace just aren't as thrilling as they were when I was nineteen. My own "little critic" voice is so well entrenched that I'm pretty secure in the fact that a bit of breakage won't permanently damage anything essential. She'll still be there to keep me from anything too drastic, maybe. (grin) Reconnecting with high school and college friends in the lasts year has really undermined MANY of my more grown up tendencies. I'm still paying bills, and eating vegetables, and doing laundry, mind you, but a bit of recklessness and unconstrained energy seems much more in order these days. Hence the official participation in NaNoWriMo. Are you SURE you won't join in?

Twitter Fully Accessible

2009-04-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note. I gave in to the social pressure and decided to try twitter. Much to my delight, the site is FULLY accessible for the blind and JAWS works with it seamlessly in Explorer or Mozilla Firefox. The site includes Skip tags to jump over navigation links or to jump TO the sidebar which is located on the right, thankfully.

I’ll only be using Twitter from my laptop, since I don’t have a phone with TALKS, but I’ll be happy to let anyone know how it goes. If you’re already on twitter and want to “tweet” with me, I’m Shelob001 there.

It was just SO nice to find a fully accessible site!

–shelob

Dalmatians

2009-03-14T12:33:00.001-07:00

moar funny pictures

Couldn't resist, having known the breed so well for the last fourteen years!

Walking in Midnight Snow

2008-11-30T00:50:00.000-08:00

It's coming down in sheets of white speckles against the blackness -- barely snow, but not sleet. Everything around it is dark, but it clings to cars and grass, disappearing on the pavement and sidewalk. Have you ever enjoyed the first snow of the year with a husky? She's like a kid at Christmas: wide awake, bright eyed, and eager to go trot around and enjoy the air, the cold, the snowflakes, and the leavings from this morning's trash pick-up. (laughing) Okay, so maybe not quite like kid, who I hope would go for the pies rather than the old turkey bones!

So, About my Tattoos

2008-11-11T14:57:00.000-08:00

I acquired my woad tattoos over the summer, and I must admit, I’m interested in going for more. (grin) Don’t worry. Woad tattoos only last a week or so, so I’ll not be piling design upon design. But this urge to add design, even in a semi-permanent form, is new to me. It actually caught me by surprise, since I’d only planned on doing something small around my ankle. But the compulsion grew with each addition, and pretty soon I was tattooed to my right knee on the one side, and to mid-calf on the other. (grin)

My enthusiasm certainly was catching, as many people I didn’t think would try the fun joined in. By the time we were done, at least seven or eight people were flashing woad tattoos, and several had more than one. Ankles and toes were favorite spots since summer sandles were being worn.

Most people were also in the midst of dyeing various hanks of yarn, shirts, shorts or sweaters in the huge vat of blue dye, so frequently designs hat to halt mid-application and be picked up again one the more immediate problems had been attended to.

This was also an interesting experiment in terms of design. Those on the right leg were more fluid, sweeping, and certainly looked better on MY flesh. I tried a more angular look on the left and wasn’t all that thrilled. My flesh does not do angles. (sigh) ah well, I can admire angles on others.

despite my disappointment with my angular bits of staining, most of the celtic knots, dotted patterns, and swirls turned out well for me and for others. One thing to keep in mind is that we had not actually PLANNED this tattooing extravaganza, so -- all the designs were painted on with a wooden coffee stirrer! (laughing) When we decided to go primitive, we went all the way!

And I must admit, my legs haven't looked that interesting in years -- not without stockings! I left the party with painted legs, some wonderful naturally dyed Saxon Blue sock yarn, an over-dyed summer shirt, and a soft woad blue dyed lampshade cover that I'd knit a couple of years ago. It was a great party, and anyone in the area should join in the next time True Blue Fiber Friends has another Saxon Blue Party -- you never know what you'll come away with!

LOLcats

2008-10-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

Loved this one. Looks like a cat I had, the incomparable T.S. Eliot.

moar funny pictures

I Didn't Cheat --- It's just WRONG!

2008-09-19T23:50:00.001-07:00

Okay, I swear I didn't cheat; the silly quiz is just WRONG! Calm? Zen? Hippie? Okay, maybe a bit in terms of ethics. But the rest? Balanced? Calm? Wow.

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well.

Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations.

You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life.

Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

Words to Live By

2008-06-04T00:36:00.000-07:00

Stolen from Sethra at Porter Family Pursuits

Words to Live By

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Ain't it the truth! [grin]

I'm Still Charmed!

2008-05-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

I Can't Help It. I'm Hooked

2008-05-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Couldn't resist this one either!

2008-05-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

Snowball the Dancing Cockatiel -- just because

2008-05-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

Just because everyone should celebrate Friday like this if they can!

Retinal Atrophy

2008-04-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

Scar atrophy post sub-mac

Some history before the update. I have Ocular Histoplasmosis Syndrome or POHS which has caused the total loss of central vision in my left eye (1990) and visual field losses in my right as well. I had sub-macular surgery in the right with Dr. Matthew Thomas back in the dark ages circ. 1993, and I’ve been stable since baring a small inflammation in 1995 controlled with prednisone. Since, I’ve developed severe light sensitivity due to many factors including a pigmentation migration from the areas around the last scar / vessel that blew and the fact that my pupils no longer contract normally, but stay open to 7 or 8 mm (full dilation) most of the time.

Well, about three weeks ago, I had a sudden decline in visual acuity from about 20/35 to 20/70 (all this in the right eye, since the left lost all center vision in ’91). Visual field disturbances in all four quadrants. Eye pressure up to 22 in the right eye an only 9 in the left. Not good at all. That way a Saturday night in the ER.

Monday I saw my regular ophthalmologist. Vision still down at 20/70; eye pressure up to 24 or 25; 25 being the beginning of the range for being concerned about glaucoma. Regular ophthalmologist pontificated and told me to go home for a month and I might “want to buy a magnifier” – the dolt!

I called Thomas’s office and had an appointment for 9 am that Wednesday. Gotta love working with professionals! Even his office staff is the best!

After spending most of Tuesday fighting with the Mason Eye Clinic about whether or not they were going to give me copies of my records including the floresine angiograms they took (I won after several hours, multiple conversations with my tape recorder going, and the promise that if I didn’t walk out of there with a CD with my pics the next call would be to a lawyer, AND a phone call to Dr. Thomas’s office to have them call and apply pressure), my mom and I went to St. Louis. She flew in from Pennsylvania Monday morning to go with me and is still here.

Thomas took some pics and angio and an OCT. No bleeders, no inflammation, no fluid at all in the OCT. (Cool test, btw!) But I’ve a record of being able to see what’s coming long before they have anything to shoot at, sometimes as much as six weeks. So. Come back in two weeks if no improvement or four if it gets noticeably better. Sooner if something drastic happens.

I’m back in two weeks (this Wednesday, April 16th) They can get me up to 20 / 50 with best correction. Again, no sign of vessels or a bleeder or any fluid registering in the OCT; the one spot that looked like it might have been the beginning of an inflammation is now totally quiet.

The conclusion. Atrophy of the surgery scar and surrounding tissue. Visual acuity will wax and wane as the retinal tissue continues to deteriorate. Nothing to be done. Nothing. Go ahead and get my new glasses. (I have an RX from December I’ve been too busy with depression and other things to get filled) Come back in a month for monitoring in case it IS actual histo activity that I can see before they can. But apparently this is something that they’ve seen before. The sub-mac surgery gave me fifteen years and no re-occurrence, but now it’s going to just fade out as the tissue atrophies.

I’m not sure HOW I feel at the moment. While I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand getting a shot in the eye every couple of months, I was willing to try, to at least attempt to fight it. But now I’m told there’s nothing to fight. The fight to maintain and make best use of my vision has consumed most of my adult life. This started when a routine eye exam at Sears resulted in the optician saying "Did you know that you have large white spots on your retinas?" when I was 23, and I’ll be 43 near the end of this year.

The last few years have been a major battle with the photophobia, but we’d just gotten the pain management under control with the use of prosthetic contacts with a 2mm pupil and a total black layer under the rest of the “iris” of the contacts, which are a dark brown, rather than my own green to further block the light. It was working. Almost no headaches for eight months. I still couldn’t see as well with the contacts in, and I still couldn’t see outside in the sunlight. But my quality of life is much better.

And now this. I’m just -- pole-axed. I’ve longed for the constant anxiety and battles to end; I considered refusing further treatment and just living with whatever came so I could live my life without the constant fear and battle. And now this. I’m so damned pissed off that I don’t even get to make THAT choice that I don’t know which way to turn. No treatment. No research into any way to boost or support the tissue that’s left. Nothing.

Thomas was great. Explained it all twice, so my mom and I could take it in. Walked us through the pictures and the OCT printouts. He’s a marvelous doc and an excellent communicator. But. damn.

Retinal Education

2008-04-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

The subject today is retinas. Mine, to be precise, although this first picture isn't -- mine, that is. This is a picture of a healthy retina from a medical site here on the web. See how nice and shiny and pink it is? The light spot to the right with all the blood vessels branching from it is actually the optic nerve, while the darker pink area in the center of the field is the macula. The macula is the portion of the eye where the retinal tissue is very thin, and where the eye is able to produce the fine vision that allows people to focus on print, small objects, and fine details. You'll notice that this area has no blood vessels snaking through it. The tissue here is far too thin for even the smallest blood vessels.

The eye disease that I have, presumed ocular histoplasmosis syndrome or POHS, causes the body to send blood vessels into this area of fine vision. The vessels rupture the tissue, destroying its ability to absorb light and transmit information, and they also rupture, obscuring even more vision with blood.None of this can be seen from the outside, but it can completely obscure the center vision should treatment be unsuccessful. The retinal results look like this second picture, which is an actual photo of my left retina.

As you can see, the macula and the even more delicate region of the fovea at the center of the macula have been completely destroyed by rogue blood vessels, ruptures, and scarring. The area around the optic nerve also shows similar signs of bleeds and scarring, but bleeds that far from the center don't actually affect my vision and the doctors have never indicated that they present any danger to the optic nerve itself.

This final picture shows my right retina -- the one that had a bleed fifteen years ago and which Dr. Matthew Thomas at Barnes Retina Institute was able to remedy somewhat by taking the whole thing apart and removing the blood vessel, and then putting the eye back together again.

The procedures involved have much more glamorous and imposing sounding names like "vitrectomy" "sub-macular removal of the neo chordial vascularization" etc., but you get the general idea.

In this last picture, you can see the black crusty scars of bleeds near the optic nerve, but only two black spots near the macula. One is a laser scar, the first treatment attempted on this eye when the first blood vessel ripped through the retinal tissue. The laser burns through the retina, destroying it in the hope of cauterizing the vessel and preventing more bleeds. This didn't work, and the second black spot (the larger) is where the second blood vessel broke through with such force and enthusiasm that my center vision was completely obscured within just a few seconds.

The dark shading around the macula represents areas where the tissue is starting to atrophy. The process of removing the offending blood vessel and the pooling blood involved separating the retina from the back of the eye, and separating it from the nutrient layer underneath. Over time, areas in which the nutrient layer and the retina did not fully heal together have started to atrophy which will eventually cause a gradual loss of acuity in and of itself.

The shiny whitish areas in the macula of this eye are places where the pretty pink pigment decided that enough was enough, and it bugged out all in a few seconds, causing me to think that a Kentucky Fried Chicken sign announcing "The New Honey Barbecue Wings" would be the last thing I'd seen on earth.

But, thankfully, this was not the case, as the bug-out was just a precursor to the second bleed in this eye. My vision cleared after several minutes, we made yet another flying trip to a hospital an hour and a half away, and my vitreo-retinal specialist at the time, Dr. David V. Poer, said, "you shouldn't have been able to see that!" -- not the first or the last time this phrase was used in reference to me and my eyes. (grin)

The smaller whitish dots out from the center are additional histo scars which may be drawing blood vessels to them. These scars, the pigmentation migration, and the fact that for some unknown reason my pupils now remain dilated to about 7 or 8 millimeters all the time are some of the causes of my extreme light sensitivity. But that's a topic for another time.

Currently, my vision is changing yet again. About a week ago, I noticed some changes in my vision, Careful examination on an amsler grid shows changes in all four quadrants, blurred places, bent lines, glittery shapes, flickering shadows, all of which indicate that the disease is again active, and that something is coming. Probably a blood vessel, maybe more than one. But some portion of it seems to be headed directly for the center of the macula. The ER noted that my acuity in the good eye had dropped from 20 / 40 to 20 / 70. So began the frantic trips to the retinal specialists.

Dr. Thomas with his fancy tools, including the new OCT-whatchamacallit which functions like ultra sound and can pick up the tiniest amounts of fluid under the retina are going to try to determine when the threat warrants treatment with the cancer drug Avastin. So far, we are in a holding pattern. It's clear that something is going on, but so far, the photos and angiograms aren't showing any bleeds. Nor does this nifty new thing that works like ultra sound show any fluid yet; with my history, it's just a matter of time, but the docs can't start treatment until they have something to shoot at.

Personally, I wish the whole thing would hurry up. Being blind is only a pain in the butt. But the process of loosing vision is hell on earth. My mom flew in from PA on Monday to go with me to the first appointment with a local guy. She'll be staying indefinitely and working via e-mail, etc. From my history, it'll all be over but the shouting in about a month, maybe a bit more. Once they find something they can target, the newest treatment involves injections into the eye with Avastin, a cancer drug, about every four to six weeks. This will cause the blood vessels to wither and retreat and allow what parts of the retina that can heal a chance to do so, but whatever is destroyed when the blood vessel bursts through will be lost for good.

I'm not at all sure how long my nerves will tolerate having them stick needles in my eye while I'm awake, though I'll be requesting some significant sedatives. So I don't know how this will play out. Some people have continued the treatments for years; some have three or four and then the disease goes back into remission.

Knitting is a wonderful consolation; a friend here has started to record the pattern instructions for the shawl I'm working on into audio, since I can't stand looking at the charts now, and may never be able to again.

I've also started selling my home-made stitch markers in the local yarn store and earned enough to get a spindle and a bag of fiber. I had everyone in the local waiting rooms fascinated with watching me spin (grin) while we waited for eyes to dilate, photos to process, or other time consuming tortures. "Sitting and spinning" has multiple meanings for me at the moment, so I'm glad at least one of them is productive!

More pics of fiber and fripperies in the next post, and perhaps that promised discussion of skip tags!

Basic Accessibility for Blogs and Sites

2008-03-19T14:41:00.000-07:00

I’ve taken my time working up to writing this post on how to make a blog or website more user friendly for more people. The most interesting part of the process for me has been deconstructing my own assumptions in order to address the confusion people may feel about why some alterations to standard blog editing and formatting are necessary.

While I’ve been “between” sighted and blind for more than 10 years, the steps I’ve taken to make use of adaptive techniques and resources have been gradual ones. I’ve rarely given thought to something until I needed it. When I need something, then I figure it out. [grin] Not the comprehensive way to learn or study something, but life HAS been busy in the interim.

General Principles

So. Accessibility. Making a website more friendly for those who use adaptive computing programs and tactics. One of the first things to understand would be that the more complicated the site, the more careful a designer has to be to integrate accessibility features in the construction. All the interactive tools that allow a site visitor to interact with the site are lovely things, and web designers have done an amazing job coming up with new ways to make sites fun and attractive.

Fun and attractive do NOT have to suffer in order to make a site more accessible, but often, talking with designers can be like talking to new writing students about ways to adapt their writing to suit a wider audience, rather than to just suit the professor or their friends. It can make them grumpy because they think that the constructive criticism is actually negative criticism. So that would be the first point I’d like to address – I’ll be talking from the stance of already greatly appreciating the work that designers and programmers have done. The things we can do on the web are amazing, and having all these options available in a format that is, by its very nature, easier to access and adapt than print on paper is a marvelous transformation.

Basic Philosophy and Function

The main premise of making websites more accessible is pretty much a no-brainer: why would you NOT want to increase your readership, your patrons, your advocates, your contacts? We’ll assume that you’ve answer that question with an “of course” and move on. At some other time, I’ll regale you with tales of the profound effect web access has had for vast numbers of people who have used this technology to improve and increase their interactions with the rest of the world. For now, I’ll focus on reviewing some of the ways people with disabilities access the web and then move on to basic things people can do to improve the experiences people with disabilities have on their sites.

First, in case you are new to my sites, yes, blind people can access the web. They don’t have to be able to see to read your blog. I access the web using a screen-reader software program called JAWS, made by Freedom Scientific. If you’d like to hear what your blog sounds like to me, you can download a trial version of JAWS by going to the [link follows] Freedom Scientific site. This trial software is set up to let you use the program for 40 minutes at a time; for additional use, simply re-boot your computer to re-set the software clock.

Other programs frequently used by people with disabilities include Window Eyes, another screenreader, Dragon Naturally Speaking, which allows people to use voice commands to navigate and type, and Zoom-text, a program that provides comprehensive and variable screen magnification as well as basic document reading capabilities. Additionally, many people use adaptive hardware, including joysticks,

These are just a few of the programs available, but most adaptive programs alter the way someone interacts with the web in one fundamental way. They change the way the person navigates the site. Rather than navigating visually, and using the mouse to shift the computer’s focus to the desired link or segment or visual, most adaptive programs involve using keyboard commands and keyboard navigation tactics to negotiate the site.

Using the keyboard to negotiate the site and shift the computer’s focus means that a person accesses the site in a linear progression, as if all the style sheets and formatting were removed, rather than by scanning from left to right or right to left and then down. Or by following the most dramatic and active elements on the page such as flash movies or components. In fact, flash elements can aggravate the process immensely, since many times, the adaptive software can get “hung up” on the flash element. So anytime a designer can provide a way for someone to skip past a flash element or at least work to insure that the flash element isn’t the first thing that the software will encounter on the site, that designer has already improved the experience of many people who want to access the site.

Well, that’s enough for now. The next installment will be on skip tags: those wonders of html coding that let someone jump to specific content without using a mouse!

How many People?

2008-03-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I got this one from Knitnana, but I must say, elementary school is always a good indicator for this. We had three girls with my name in the same classroom, and more in the other two, so, how original could it be?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
81
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

The funny part? My mother's frustration! She'd chosen names for me and my brother some ten years before, and just happened to have her children when these names came into popularity. What was unusual, became common place. (sigh)

Got Spoons?

2008-01-05T12:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the wit and linkage of the Infamous Lady Bracknell, the Lady Bracknell of "The Perorations of Lady Bracknell," mind you, I have been introduced to the "Spoon Theory" of explaining life with a chronic illness or disability. Spoons work well. So would matchsticks, or beans. But the story of the spoons, to be found on "But You Don't Look Sick?" and written by Christine Miserandino has a certain charm and applicability, since spoons are not easy to carry nor easy to forget when you ARE carrying them, and the feeling of being without them once you are used to them is a significant loss.

When I can, I'm going to have to invest in some "Got Spoons?" paraphernalia.

There are days I got spoons, and days I don't. This has been a marvelous week for collecting sources of spoons, or sources of spoon reinforcement, one might say.

In addition to some exhilarating discussion to be had on the forums at Ravelry.com, I've also been chatting with folks at Disaboom (disaboom.com), yet another vigorous community for folks with disabilities and their friends and families. If you sneak a peek, you should see some new buttons over in the sidebar which reflect this week's expansion in my participation of various online communities.

Now, lest it be thought that I'm always connected to my computer (close, but not always, it would get in the way of the knitting and of sleeping), and that with such a connection I should certainly be posting FAR more often, it should be noted that my participation in the groups on Ravelry has led me to more local connections, and I'm to be found, almost weekly, at one of the local coffeehouses chatting away with fellow knitters, hookers, and spinners, not to mention the occasional weaver. We're a very accepting bunch, so local folk who just want to drop by are welcome -- Rendezvous is a marvelous coffee house -- and while a craft of your own is not necessary, we can provide you with sticks and string as "set dressing" or "props" if you are feeling left out. I'm sure more than just myself would be willing to provide instruction as well -- Ruthanne, this is targeted at you! (grin)

My search for a good, non-copyrighted picture of a spider web that I find suitable for the header for the group I want to organize on Ravelry myself has not been very productive. My attempts and drawing one myself in "Paint" have been absolutely GHASTLY! But I've had some luck with plain paper and pencil, so I may make use of the scanner and keep it simple.

I've also signed up to participate in an experimental group of feminist knitbloggers, making my own little niche by concentrating on academic and disability related contributions. More info on that as it reaches me.

Since I have finally gotten a new laptop to replace the one destroyed in "The GREAT Sodapop Debacle of November '07," I should also be able to become more regular about posting here again. Tomorrow I'll see about posting a knitting update with pictures of all the Christmas knitting. I've also started a pair of thick superwash merino socks for myself AND one of the "Tea Cozy Elf Caps" from Charmed Knits, the Harry Potter knitting book I got from my SIL for Christmas.

The dogs are sleeping, and it's now time to make banana bread and pumpkin bread for tomorrow's winter celebration for the local Ravelry knitting group. Yeah! Who knows what I'll get in the white elephant stash exchange? I've put . . . . well, I can't very well tell you, now can I? It's supposed to be a surprise!

Starting a Group on Ravelry

2007-12-14T11:17:00.000-08:00

Starting a group on Ravelry doesn't sound all that intimidating, does it? But in truth, I've never been a group-starter. Rabble-rouser, organizer, synergy source, enthusiastic supporter, even ad-hoc or temporary leader, all these, I've been. But I've never just started a group and said, "come join."

I know, I know. It's about time then, isn't it? And I'm already caught up in the details. What to use for a banner? How irreverant to be at the start? Best give them some idea of what I'm like; wouldn't want to shock anyone who came looking for "Mary Ingells" and found someone a bit more like "Anne Sullivan" than they were expecting. I'm just not the reverant sort when it comes to blindness. [grin] But I don't want to drive away any new blinks or 'tweeners who are still shaky about the whole thing. Hmmmmm. This makes choosing a name a bit of a challange, too.

If I put "blind" in the title, will the folks with Macular Degeneration or other Vision Impairments similar to mine not consider themselves eligible? Many people resist the word "blind" on so many levels. "Blind Webs"? "Tinking in the Dark" ? I myself no longer really like the word "Low Vision" as a social term. It's perfectly fine as a legal or diagnostic term, but wishy-washy, hesitant, or temporizing to me for social use. VI sounds like we're in a sci-fi movie. Hmmmm. Do crips or deaf people on the web have these difficulties too? Well, perhaps I should just use the word "Blind" in the title, since it's my favorite. Clear cut -- unlike actual vision loss most of the time -- descriptive, and short. It's amazing how political a simple word choice can become. [sigh]

"Blind Webs" it will be. A group for knitters, spinners, and crocheters with vision impairments of all sorts and their friends. Ever wonder what to get a blind knitter for Christmas? Wonder where to find patterns in an alternate format? Trying to find a good way to mark your decreases or increases without having hundreds of bits of string hanging from the piece you're knitting? Someone here has probably run into the same problem. "It's highly unlikely that you are the first person in history ever to have this difficulty!" So spoke My Mother the Oracle in the year 1992, modern era.

Hmm. Now. How to drum up business. I've got one other knitter interested already. Ah -- a discussion of web braille on the audiobook group? THAT would be a good place to start! Hm, hm, hmmmmmm. Now I need to go find a cool picture of a spider web for the banner!

"

Nothing Like a New Gang!

2007-11-14T19:24:00.000-08:00

Well, the CoMo lunchtime group from Ravelry met at the Rendezvous Coffeehouse this afternoon, and, I must say, signs indicate that a good time was had by all!

Nothing like a new gang of knitting gals to liven up a blog. More soon!

What Woman from Outlander?

2007-08-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

Which woman from the Outlander series are you?

You are Jenny Fraser Murray. You are a strong, motherly figure; loving and practical. You are good at being in charge of large groups of people of all ages. Your home is your castle and your family is the most important thing to you. You are also a good friend.
Take this quiz!

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Yep. Re-reading this series again -- and knitting -- AND spending too much time on Ravelry!

First Toe Up Sock!

2007-07-06T18:24:00.001-07:00

I did it! I finished my first pair of toe-up socks, simple crew socks following the instructions in Priscilla A. Gibson-Roberts’ Simple Socks Plain and Fancy. I used Opal sock yarn in a self-striping pattern. As a learning experience, I say it was a complete success. I learned how to do short rows using the yarn-over method. I much prefer short row toes to the ssk/k2tog toes I’ve done in the past. It’s much easier to make them gradual to fit my square feet! I’m looking forward to trying some lace patterned toe-up socks I’ve had on hold for some time now. This was too much fun! Gibson-Roberts explains the principles extremely well. The whole hour-glass shaping element is clever and makes for interesting heels as well.
As for the Provincial Waistcoat, I’ve been trying to get a good picture of the buttons for more than a week, and finally realized that my best chance to get the detailed carving on the buttons was to scan the sweater. This also worked. [grin] Would have saved myself considerable trouble if I’d thought of it sooner! However, the current file is too large for blogger to load. [sigh] Great detail, and the price for it. I still need to wash and block this piece, and then it will be done, not to be worn until fall.

The Daphne top and the Bobble Blue top have both been on hold, so it’s time to choose one to go on with. Maybe both, at that! [laughing]. The Daphne top will include a great deal of mindless knitting, so perhaps that might be a good relief to all the complex cable and rib elements of the Bobble Blue. I don't know how likely is that I'll finish both in time to wear this summer, but perhaps one will be ready in time. I think I'd prefer the Bobble Blue top -- actually done in an orchid wool-cotton from Brown Sheep -- since I've the skirt to match it ready and waiting. From what I can tell, they will make a lovely outfit, and it's a color that doesn't fill my closet at the moment.

On the other hand, I’m also interested in catching up with the latest KAL I’ve joined. It’s the Monthly Dishcloth KAL, and I’m having fun figuring out what the pattern will make, since we only get so many lines of knitting a day. It will be a fun way to supplement my own kitchen, as well as add to the stack for the church bazaar. I’m also able to copy and paste the instructions into a work document, and listen to them on my Bookport MP3 player / document reader. This might make these projects an even more interesting option for travel knitting while I’m riding the buses.

Books, Books, Books, Books, & more Books!

2007-06-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

Booking Through Thursday

School days, Golden Rule days…. June 21, 2007

Since school is out for the summer (in most places, at least), here’s a school-themed question for the week:
1. Do you have any old school books? Did you keep yours from college? Old textbooks from garage sales? Old workbooks from classes gone by?
2. How about your old notes, exams, papers? Do you save them? Or have they long since gone to the great Locker-in-the-sky?

As an English major, I think I kept almost all the books and novels I acquired as an undergrad, and definitely all those I acquired for my Master’s and for my doctorate so far. The only real drawback is that moving is a MAJOR undertaking! [laughing] I think I was up to nine or ten milk-crates of books that came with me to undergrad each year – just the essentials, mind. Nothing extra or unneeded – at least not to my way of thinking!

I ditched the books on the hard science and the one Calculus class I took [shudder], but I kept many of the business and accounting books. Both came in handy as I helped a small living history museum I was working for set up a double entry book keeping system and begin to make use of standard business reports for financial matters.

The most interesting thing about that school schedule of acquiring books is this: I STILL get an almost uncontrollable urge to buy stacks of books, paper, pens, etc., each August or September. At this point, I’m doing independent research, and don’t need such things, but there you have it. [grin] Each fall, I start to haunt the stationery aisles in stores and to roam the discount book stacks at local stores to fulfill these cravings. I’m sure there’s a twelve-step program out there for this somewhere, but for now, I remain unrepentant. Ah – check back with me after my next move!

Writing Delayed, Knitting Advanced

2007-06-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

A quick review will show you that I’ve not made my regular posts in the last week and a half or so. Allergies escalated into more serious troubles, and I’m happy to admit that I vanquished the demon spores – ah – pollen with modern chemistry and a large quantity of salt water. A summer cold and subsequent breathing problems left me with little inclination to write, and much time to knit while I protected my lungs and tried to avoid adding insult to injury. The fact that I was willing to start tossing bones and waving feathers if it would let me take a deep breath was beside the point. I DID NOT actually start chanting in public. And those scraps are Kleenex, not the remnants of voodoo dolls. Seriously. Honest. Oh, crap. I’d have done almost anything to be allowed a full breath. Let’s not talk about it, okay? Summer colds are a rotten way to spend time, but it did give me a chance to get a large quantity of knitting done. [grin] Yes, yes, most things seem to push me in that direction, don’t they? Perhaps this is something I should be concerned about? Nah.

As I was hanging out, listening to The Historian, I managed to get a huge chunk of knitting done on the Provincial Waistcoat.
So. In the next couple of days, I’ll be catching up on half-written posts and back dating them to keep with the line-up. I’ll also be getting pictures of the almost-complete Provincial Waistcoat. It’s all over but the buttons and blocking! It’s a wonderful piece, and I’d recommend it to anyone.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, 2005, is a lovely read, by the way. Long -- something you know I love -- and a solid addition to the Dracula legends. Great mystery, fun revelations, stunning array of countries represented, a natural for book nerds. I hope she writes another soon! You can find it on Amazon, of course, at http://www.amazon.com/Historian-Elizabeth-Kostova/dp/0316011770, though by now, the paperback is also out, and libraries all over the world have added it to their sections on Dracula.

I’m in dire need of the inspiration to pick up another project. There are plenty to hand, as you know, but I need some motivation. I’ll probably start on a pair of socks, just because I need something in that line to keep my hands busy. Hmmm. I’m also going to Stitches today, one of the local yarn shops, and perhaps the Noro Silk Garden there will inspire me. I haven’t been to a yarn shop in months, and I’ve missed the atmosphere and the lovely yarn to pet!

Do I WHAT?! Peek?

2007-06-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

Dessert First

Booking Through Thursday
1. Do you cheat and peek ahead at the end of your books? Or do you resolutely read in sequence, as the author intended?
2. And, if you don’t peek, do you ever feel tempted?

Well, this week’s Booking Through Thursday requires something of an admission. The answer is: “Not any more!” I have been known to cheat and jump to the end of a book, to peak ahead when I was just about to have kitten’s trying to figure out how something would be resolved or IF it would be resolved. Ahem. That was before I knew that ALL romance novels end the same way. [laughing] It had never occurred to me that the hero and heroine HAD to get together in those novels. Not until I was part way through high school! I just couldn’t stand the suspense when it came to love stories.

Mysteries are a genre I’ve only gotten into as an adult, and I’ve not tried jumping ahead in one of those – ‘twould ruin the fun of the genre. Tempted? Oh YES! Sometimes it’s a physical challenge to keep from peeking. I have to put the book down and walk away. But the mysteries aren’t always like the romances, so I don’t always want to know if a character I like is going to be one of the casualties!

Waistcoats and Wacky Dogs

2007-06-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

What a week! Kala is home, making everything in life a little more amusing. [grin] She arrived last weekend with some friends who stayed to party for a couple of days before heading back home. Five large dogs and two cats at my place, and what a party it was! Kala and Sally are getting along famously, with good manners and much romping and chasing. I tried to get pictures of the romping and chasing, but ended up with multi-colored blurs. So still shots will have to do!

In knitting, many good things have been happening. I’ve finally gotten some pictures to show. The finished lilac Wildefoot socks are comfy and lovely. I’m tickled with both the yarn and the pattern.Sensational Knitted Socks is turning out to be a wonderful resource and an excellent investment. These are knit in the six-stitch repeat "waterfall rib" pattern.
My first pair of socks from this book (and my second!) were knit in the four-stitch repeat, "Elongated Corded Rib." I haven’t decided on the next pattern I’ll try, but the red Wildefoot will undoubtedly be turned into something from this pattern book. I'm looking eagerly at the cabled patterns at the moment! I’ve also got several skeins of KP’s Telemark waiting to be used, so it may turn into my first pair of colorwork socks; this book has some interesting patterns in colorwork I haven’t given much thought to yet. More investigating to do! But at the current rate, I'll have worked my way through my summer sock yarns and be back to worsted weight winter socks long before August! I'm finding the patterns and the quick finishes very satisfying.

The work on the Provincial Waistcoat continues. I’m having to rip back to about the point these pictures were taken, losing about an inch or so, because I was thinking “sets” of rows, rather than rows and knit happily along without continuing the decreases for the neckline!I’m currently still doing the increases in the back of the bodice while starting the neckline decreases. I think the low neckline is the only reason I considered this vest, as I usually stick to sweaters or jackets alone. But between the neckline and the stitch designs, I was hooked! This Classic Elite yarn is working up beautifully, and I’m very happy with the weight and feel of the piece. I'm hoping to have it finished in the next week so I can move on to my orchid "Bobble Blue" sweater from last summer. This cooler weather we are having would be perfect for it!

Other adventures this past week include my first “Booking Through Thursday” entry, and managing to blister my hands so badly while mowing the yard that I couldn’t use my blind cane for several days – which means I’ve been home entirely too long! Cutting the law is not a normal activity for me, but I wanted to burn off some excess energy, and, well, using the old-fashioned push mower is just plain fun! The blades whirl and send grass clippings flying – I think it’s the similarity to the “popcorn walker” toy that I had as a kid that charms me so much. That toy doubled as a lawn mower, a sweeper, a car, all sorts of things! Anyway, the satisfaction of watching the tall grasses disappear was hypnotizing, and a recent rain had pulled most of the pollen out of the air – so that wasn’t a concern. However, I will be letting the boy next door resume his duties in law care as soon as his school year is over – I’m too much of a wimp to keep this up! And yes, I have heard of work gloves, but you have to be expecting to do “real” work in order to plan ahead and have them in the house! [grin] I’ll be picking some up at the mall tomorrow, just in case.

Oh god -- WHAT day is it? Monday? Again?

2007-06-04T07:59:00.000-07:00

Here too soon, yet another Monday. More Coffee is Definitely Required!

Seriously, it's a gorgeous day here. With the temperature down in the '60's last night, I could sleep with all the windows open, and it's as yet (at 10:00 a.m.) only up to 68, so the day has much promise! Of course, my second cup of coffee, and the fact that, finally, I got pictures of knitting taken yesterday help with that outlook, to be sure. More on the knitting later today, but here is my poetry for Monday.

I've been making my way through The Complete Poems of D. H. Lawrence, 1885–1930, Penguin Classics edition, 1993. Lawrence is yet another of the relatively few 20th Century authors I read regularly. His blunt address of life, death, sex, and the power of the internal life of people ties him to another poet I enjoy, John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester 1647-1680. But more of him next week.

While many of Lawrence's poems are designed to shock an startle people, here is a selection I found very apt to a knitting blog.
This is from the collection Pansies:

WHATEVER MAN MAKES

Whatever man makes and makes it live
lives because of the life put into it
A yard of India muslin is alive with Hindu life.
And a Navajo woman, weaving her rug in the pattern of her dream
must run the pattern out in a little break at the hem
so that her soul can come out, back to her.

But in the odd pattern, like snake-marks on the sand it leaves its trail.

Alternate Texts

2007-05-31T10:31:00.000-07:00

Paper or plastic?

May 30, 2007 Booking Through Thursday

Do you read e-Books?
If so, how? On your computer, or a PDA?
Or are you a paper purist? Why?

Now this is an interesting question with which to begin my Booking Through Thursday entries!

While I try to focus on using audiobooks now, ebooks have been a great alternate format for me since 2001 when I first found some Adobe Acrobat Reader ebooks. Adobe Acrobat had a “read aloud” function at that point, which helped me greatly.

In 2002 I found MicrosoftReader ebooks and also discovered the free version of the Overdrive Readerworks program for turning electronic texts into MicrosoftReader ebooks. Microsoft now has an add-in for Word which also allows you to make your own books quickly and easily. This can be a great way to store and use class notes for future use and study. These programs have improved dramatically over the years. MicrosoftReader has a text-to-speech function and now has many features that allow you to take notes, write in the margins, add bookmarks, and highlight text while you read. You can also view and search your annotations or markups from the annotations list, rather than flipping through the pages to find the bits you thought were important.

I also make use of the ebooks available through my public library which has a subscription to NetLibrary. This is a MARVERLOUS resource for those of us who have a hard time returning books to the library on time! The book checks ITSELF back into the library at the end of two weeks, so you never have to worry about it! Now how cool is THAT!

These ebooks are compatible with my screen reader software, JAWS, and also allow you to add your own notes which are saved on the system, even after the book is “returned” to the library. Additionally, my public library also has down-loadable eAudiobooks through NetLibrary which play on a variety of media players like Windows Media Player or Winamp and which also check themselves back in after two weeks.

With the progressive loss of my functional vision, I’ve been forced to go looking for alternate text formats. In the last two years, Rehabilitation Services for the Blind have provided me with the equipment and software to make my own electronic texts efficiently and at need. I do this by using a high speed scanner and the educational software program Kurzweil 1000. With practice, I can now scan a two hundred fifty page book in about 45 minutes. Kurzweil has some additional features which make it an excellent tool for anyone who needs or wants to work in electronic format. It allows me to skim books, reading only the first sentences of paragraphs, take notes, and add hyperlinks between sections of a book, so I can jump to related sections. This feature is somewhat like writing “see page 67 for another example” in the margins of a print book.

Several organizations have been creating online e-texts for many years now. Project Gutenberg has been around for decades provide plain “vanilla” texts, that is, electronic versions of texts in plain text or ASCII 2 format that any computer can display in any word processing program, even low-tech programs like notepad or very old programs. They are also expanding their collections to offer audio version of texts in Mp3 format; some are electronic audio like the ones I can make at home with the program TextAloud Mp3 and my AT&T Natural Voices. You can try a demo of these voices at the following page: http://www.research.att.com/~ttsweb/tts/demo.php which is part of their research section. The demo at the Natural Voices homepage is currently down.

I’ve gathered a number of other sources for electronic texts, which I’ll include in a list of links in the sidebar sometime in the next few days. I’ll mention two of the free ones here. First, the Free E-Text Center at the University of Virginia provides more than 2,100 books in MicrosoftReader format, Palm format, or HTML. Many include the illustrations from the older versions of books or from the original classics such as A Christmas Carrol by Charles Dickens or Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. This was one of the first electronic libraries using ebook formats for the general public.

My other favorite source for electronic texts is the Online Books Page at the University of Pennsylvania. These books are all in HTML format, but convert easily to MicrosoftReader format with the free add-in. Aspects of this Library that I really enjoy are the “Celebration of Women Writers Project,” the “Banned Books Online” project, and their “Award Winners” project. They also have an extensive listing of free periodicals available on the web, many of which are strictly historical archives, like The Gentleman’s Magazine 1731 – 1907 or The Galaxy which was an entertainment magazine from the mid-19th century which was eventually absorbed by Atlantic Monthly. People looking for free books should check the Microsoft site from time to time; one year, Microsoft gave away two books per month as a way to promote the use of MicrosoftReader – it was a great way to collect some very interesting books!

One source to purchase ebooks that I have found very reliable and quite reasonable in price is Fictionwise.com. Fictionwise offers membership discounts, newsletters, rebates, and of course, free and continuing storage of your books, should your hard drive crash or your download disappear in any other type of traumatic event, such as an over-enthusiastic spasm of the delete key [grin]. Books from Fictionwise come in MicrosoftReader, Palm, and Acrobat formats. They also have “multi-format” books which any computer can access without proprietary software. The majority of books (including the large sci-fi and fantasy collection) are current titles. If you are considering the purchase of any book that might be in the public domain, check the free sites first. It will be cheap at Fictionwise, less than $10, but if you can download it for free for a little effort – it will be worth it!

Originally, I read my ebooks on my Jordana PDA, which allowed me to magnify the font to a comfortable level and which remains the most portable format I have for electronic books. Now that I’m working on a laptop, I use it for most purposes, including reading ebooks, since it allows me to access more formats from the single device and use the complete programs. The MicrosoftReader for the PDA will not accept the text-to-speech add-in, so I can’t have the PDA read aloud. This is very frustrating, and from time to time, I e-mail Mircosoft to hassle them about it, but so far, I haven’t gotten a response!

My personal collection of electronic texts is increasing rapidly with the use of the high speed scanner. For those concerned with copyright issues, I can give you a bit of information. Most of the free online libraries are working from versions of books which have aged into the public domain. The public library service through NetLibrary has current novels and non-fiction books as well as classics, but this is a service the library pays to access, and the authors are paid just as when the library obtains a paper copy or audio copy of a book to lend. Because I am copying library books for my personal use only and need to scan them into an alternate text to access them, my personal collection does not violate copyright law, so long as I don’t distribute the books to others.

Both Acrobat and Microsoft and other developers such as Franklin have been working on systems for allowing people to “loan” e-books to each other which would involve denying you access to the copy while someone else uses it, but none of the systems I’ve seen can be described as user-friendly. They are all clunky and often full of bugs by all reports, so I’ve not gotten into sharing my ebooks yet.

My house is still filled with actual paper books that I can lend out to others. While I’ve greatly reduced my purchase of paper books, it hasn’t been eliminated. Some books I want for their maps and other materials which do not appear in audio versions or which don’t show to advantage on the screen. Others are gifts or items I’ve acquired as part of my collection of older books. I particularly love to collect the “pocket books” which made up a significant part of my grandmother’s library and are still handy to carry about. The age of the book adds to my pleasure in reading, as do many of the illustrations, and they make it worth my while to hassle with a magnifier. I love the connection with my grandmother and the history involved in collecting old books, and I’ve never shaken my love of the dusty, dry smell that comes from the leaves and collects in the back sections of the nearby university library [smile].

My “inner librarian” died a quick death when I first discovered the wonders of taking notes in the margins of books in college. She wasn’t very reliable anyway, since most of my books from childhood include broken off corners, fudgesicle smears, and other indignities [grin].

As an educator myself, I encourage students to do “active reading” which involves a variety of ways of interacting with a text as you read, including note taking, highlighting, underlining, outlining on paper or in the margins, making use of paperclips, sticky notes or sticky flags, and, most especially, re-reading and THINKING about important passages whenever they are studying a text, rather than just reading for recreation. These activities appall many people raised in the strict traditions of not damaging books and not cracking the spines, but they can be a seriously important method of assisting readers in engaging with a text. Something seems to happen in the brain to help “set” the information, so it doesn’t just wash through like much of the reading we do for pleasure.

I still find the connections made as I imprint my presence on a book by writing in the margins personally satisfying in a mystical way. Something about the visceral input from feeling the pen connect with and even break some of the paper fibers as I write makes the experience far more real and vivid than typing notes into a computer. Yet, I also realize that electronic texts allow others to engage in these activities without involving themselves in the depredations of book-damaging. And the electronic texts also allow me to continue in my chosen profession teaching English literature and composition. They are a marvelous addition to our resources, yet still I hope they never completely take over publishing.

Update: After reading a number of other entries in this Booking Through Thursday series, I wanted to let people know an important aspect of reading on the screen -- small or large. My low vision specialist let me know about this when I went to him with massive headaches. Scrolling to read can give people motion sickness as well as eyestrain of various sorts. Use the next page or page down functions to help alleviate this, and work to figure out the font size and brightness levels that suit you best. Pick the lowest brightness level you find comfortable, and the largest font size you find comfortable to enable you to read for longer periods of time! Enjoy! .

Vamping and Revamping

2007-05-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

With a title like this one, I hope the new layout and extra features live up to expectations!

Revamping
If you've been here before, you'll notice many changes in both the layout and the sidebar content. Spring is a good time for a new color scheme, and I've found that I really like the updated features Blogger is offering. [grin] I'll be labeling new posts, and adding accessibility features like "skip to main content" links and "skip to sidebar" links over the next few days.

The content is changing a bit, as I've expanded the sidebar content to include more of my interests. In addition to the "Poetry Mondays," I'll be taking part in "Booking Through Thursday" and other planned features as I come across them. I'll be doing a bit of writing about disability studies and activism, as well as increasing the "fiber content" by checking in on a more regular basis and by getting more pictures up!

Of the new features, I particularly like the ease with which I could copy feeds and html or active content from other sites from the old template into the new template modules if I chose. The plain "Add HTML" unit made some of this much easier than it might have been. I'm all for cut and splice when it comes to coding, even if I have to take off for it when grading papers! Adjusting some of the "wrapper" features and sizes within the template html code was also very straight forward. If you are willing to code by hand, you can still "tweak" many things quite easily this way.

The new "list" modules for regular lists and lists of links will undoubtedly prove very worthwhile in the long run -- UNLESS I decide to divide a list into two separate ones -- that would require deleting items from the original list, a task the module makes VERY easy, and then starting over and having to input each item one-by-one into a new list, no cross over or divide functions available. For the moment, though, some careful planning should keep this from being much of a problem.

Vamping
Here's where the "vamping" comes in. No, I'm not adding modern Gothic elements to the blog -- it wouldn't suit the earth-tones I've chosen for the color scheme [smile]. But I did spend much of the afternoon "revamping" the site, so now I'm just filling in with chatter where I'd love to be posting pictures of finished knitting projects! I coded for too long and lost the light I'd need for good pictures. Those will have to wait until tomorrow.

First on the list to discuss are the socks I made from the lilac Wildefoot yarn. This superwash merino is wonderfully soft, and I managed to get a full knee sock out of each skein -- a good deal for adult socks! While my next pair -- from some red Wildefoot -- will be shorter socks for summer, this lilac pair will serve for spring and fall, as well as winter. It's a nice heavy fingering weight, and just great for someone like me who likes worsted weight socks in the winter, and cushy socks overall. The Wildefoot makes a nice compromise for summer and compares very well with the Opal sock yarns.

In other news, I wish I was able to spin. [of course!] Each summer, as the husky and the shepherd start to shed, and I spend hour after hour with the undercoat rake, pacifying the pooches with Pounce chicken treats while I comb out all the fluff, I wonder about those who have spun dog fur into yarn. I wouldn't dream of making a garment of it -- what if it got wet? The risks of smelling like a half-drowned dog are just too much for me! [laughing] But their fur is so soft that I often wish I could do something else with the "product" of all these hours of dog grooming. And if you check out the pictures in the flicker badge, you'll see what lovely colors I would get! The husky, Kala, is a red and white husky, and her undercoat is a creamy white. The shepherd, Sally, has a jet black top coat, but the undercoat that she sheds is a soft faun color fading into a rich gold at times.

This, I think, is just one of the side effects of being a fiber addict. A person just naturally starts contemplating what type of fiber, project, and technique to try whenever confronted with material with a spinning potential. I will resist, however. I will resist. When I start to spin with a spindle, I want to pick something I might like to wear in some way!

Meet My Daemon

2007-05-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

I think it was the music I couldn't resist. I've seen these entries on other blogs and been tickled with them.

Help Refine My Daemon!
Click on the link above to help me refine my daemon or take a test to find your own.

Update: It seems you cannot comment on my daemon; it had reached its final form from the get-go. I must have been very consistant or decisive in my answers -- that or the program was only set to allow so many daemons to morph! [grin]

Another Trial

2007-05-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

For some reason, my daemon doesn't let people comment on its accuracy. Here's another try:

http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/?120490

Poetry on Mondays

2007-05-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

Monday again already, and I've not gotten any other posts put up until today. Slacking. [grin] Several friends of mine are going through difficult times right now, and questioning decisions and events. It made me think of another of my favorite poems, one of the few from the Twentieth Century.

This is a long poem, and a bit complicated. It speaks of doubt and desire, of hopes and of the gnawing questions that arise from them. Self-judgement, social acceptance, aging, and daring. It never ceases to bring new thoughts and questions to my mind, and to bring a bit of comfort with the knowledge that others must question, too.

T.S. Eliot (1888–1965). Prufrock and Other Observations. 1917.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . .
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

You can find this and other poems by Eliot at http://www.bartleby.com/198/1.html

Poetry On Mondays

2007-05-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

I have been admiring blogging trends like "Booking It Through Thursdays" and "Poetry Fridays" but have realized that MONDAYS are the days that need a jump start in my world. A day of organization and planning, of catching up on the work I let slide over the weekend, and of determining what my week will be. To that end, I've decided to do my "poetry bits" on Mondays for my own pleasure, and hopefully that of others! It certainly adds to the inspiration for both knitting and writing -- not half bad for an idea swiped from elsewhere and adapted to my own self. [grin]

I'll start as many might expect, with an extract from Byron's Childe Harold's Pilgrimage:

The morn is up again, the dewy morn
With breath all incense, and with cheek all bloom,
Laughing the clouds away with playful scorn,
And living as if earth contain'd no tomb --
And glowing into day: we may resume
The march of our existence: and thus I,
Still on thy shores, fair Leman! may find room
And food for meditation, nor pass by
Much, that may give us pause, if pondered fittingly.

--Byron Childe Harold's Pilgrimage 3.98

What Accent do I have?

2007-05-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

Now in all honesty, this answer to this question is a matter of what I'm doing at the time. General conversation -- the answer to this quiz is correct. This is also the dialect I use for teaching. However -- get me flirting, and I'll add in a drawl that's REALLY from southern Indiana. I think this quiz thinks of central Indiana as "southern" since it's not the accent from around Chicago. Real southern Indiana is about like that from Kentucky or farther south. Deep south. Words get extra syllables. Vowels get MUCH longer. The twang gets more distinct, etc.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
Boston
North Central
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Having moved to REAL southern Indiana from Central Indiana when I was ten or so, I can tell you the difference. After two weeks in my new school I came home and announced: "You can't get on me for talkin' laike this now, 'cause everybody down here taulks like this." My parents were SO pleased!

When I went to college in Central Indiana at 18, one of the first questions I was asked by a dorm resident was: "Are you from the South?" meaning -- Deep South. [laughing] Also, this grouping doesn't take into account the difference between rural speech and urban speech, the suburbs or the city. When you travel on more dirt and gravel than asphalt, your rate of speech and pronunciation change. The most interesting variation I heard came from a Bostonian who had lived in Southern Indiana for more than a decade. What a combination!

Years in community and educational theatre and a bit of life taught me to match my speech to those I'm talking to in a way that will promote the best communication. It can make a difference! Are you familiar or unfamiliar, a neighbor or an outlander? Us or them?

In Sympathy, Grief, and Hope

2007-04-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

Rebellions and Revived Interests

2007-04-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

After a small rebellion against working last week while I was not feeling quite the thing, I have returned to the life of the fully grown. It’s amazing how young and cranky you can get while running a low-grade fever. [sigh] I have managed to get a small chunk of knitting done on the Provincial Waistcoat attempt two. This is going well, as I no longer have to concentrate much to keep the pattern.

I managed to felt yet another pair of socks last week – okay – it was three pair, but hell. Who knew that the “soak” cycle would include enough agitation to felt the silly things? A fresh dunking and some sock blockers should return these slackers to their duty. A tip from another site about using plastic coated hangers to form sock blockers has proven to be VERY useful. I’ll post pictures in a bit. [grin]

I’ve done a couple more baby caps, and I’ve been making up blindfolds to match various outfits. With summer coming, I’ve got to have protection from the sun!

Ah well, coffee is finished. Time to get on with the day. Oh yes! Last Friday, I planted seeds for Pansies in an hanging basket whose occupant had died from benign neglect. So basket and seeds are on the shelf in the laundry room, warm and dark and waiting to germinate. I’m hoping this works! I’ve got some marigold seeds to plant as well. I’d like a colorful porch again this year, now that the nasty weather should be over!

Better Answer!

2007-04-12T15:02:00.001-07:00

Just had to see what the other options for favorite movie kiss were. And I must admit, I'm quirky enough to prefer this one!

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from The Princess Bride

"This is true love - you think this happens every day?"

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

What famous Movie Kiss am I?

2007-04-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist this one.

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Gone With The Wind

"Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar."

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

Starting Again

2007-04-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

Starting again describes many activities at present. I'm re-starting the Provincial Waistcoat -- the area below the waist shaping was too long. I'm re-starting the work I was doing on my paper after a lovely week-long hiatus investing all sorts of personal possibilities. I'm restarting my blog for studying for my Comprehensive Exams, and I'm restarting a regular correspondence with my 7 year old nephew. We both like to get real mail!

More soon including pictures!

Morning Rituals

2007-03-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

Awakened by a rumbling cat and a delicate dog lick on my left cheek, it has been a good day so far. Coffee first, -- okay, like most mammals, I find the bathroom first, but that’s hardly glamorous, now is it? -- then a good twenty minutes outside in the cool morning sunlight as the dogs tromp around the yard and be dogs. (See what I mean? All mammals look for the bathroom first thing in the morning!) Inside, more coffee, time writing on the computer, a few phone calls to arrange transport for the next couple of days, and the open acknowledgement that I’m going to have to load the dishwasher before the day gets too much older.

I’ve started working my way through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way again. This program is an interesting way to go about staying in the present and nurturing your own life – whether you engage in creative hobbies or not – as long as you don’t become militant with it. I got the hang of the “morning pages” pretty quick, but granting myself and actually KEEPING my “artist play dates” has been a bit of a challenge. I’ve plenty of things to play with, but finding ways to interact with creative outlets with the enthusiasm I had as a child proved to be a bit more difficult.

Well, Saturday, I think I found the key to my creative freedom. I bought myself a brand new box of 64 Crayola crayons! Do you remember the way a fresh box of crayons smells? The easy glide of the newly molded wax?

The amazing names for all those rich colors? Well, some of the names have changed – I can’t find “Burnt Umber” or “Raw Umber” – and I love the chestnut, mahogany, and other new names in the 64-pack. But now I may need to save my pennies for one of the even BIGGER boxes! Anyone else remember when the 64-pack with its own sharpener was the be all and end all? Do YOU have your own box of crayons? This can be a very relaxing exercise.

A bunch of sites offer free coloring pages now. You can find a list and some evaluations of the sites here at Home School Kid Lit. My favorite so far is the list to the government site. They have a collection of coloring pages of wild flowers, complete with Latin names and color instructions for accurate descriptions. I'm fascinated!

I have a friend who used to credit her crayons with having gotten her through her PhD exams and classes! Repetitive, soothing, with low stress and multiple sensory stimuli – isn’t this a great rationalization for doing something childish? The colors remind me of why I love walking into yarn shops. All the colors, all the textures, even the slightly industrial smells of the dyes and the sharp tang of wool and other animal fiber.

In addition to coloring this week, I finally made a decision and started back to work on some big projects.
I chose to work on the orchid cable top from the cover of the last Spring IK. But a trip to Eunny’s webpage had me digging through my stash for the yarn to make this lovely bit of early spring apparel. Late March and early April usually go back to being wet and damp and miserable here, so if I get it done quickly, I may get to wear it this year. If not, it will be wonderful for fall and winter.

Digging into my back issues of IK brought back many patterns and projects that re-struck my fancy. That “oohh – yeah!” moment was happening so often, I quit saying it out loud. I also spent some time trying to figure out how to free up the cash to pick up the little things I’d like – I need to purchase the Hidcote Garden Shawl pattern. I’d LOVE to try a set of the new Addi lace needles, and I’m still avid about acquiring a copy of Nature Knits. I’d have gotten it through JoAnn’s with my discount coupons, but now I don’t get the fliers and when I HAD the fliers, I didn’t have the cash. [sigh] I’ll need to wait until my stars are aligned.

I’ve also gotten started on the baby hats I’m doing for the local hospital. The yarn they chose is rough and not the greatest color, but I’m following the rules!

My second set of socks from Sensational Knitted Socks is whirling along. I like the “denim” colored Paton’s Merino Classic Wool and doing the second set of socks makes it much easier to enjoy the pattern. I dug out some lighter sock yarns to get started on knitting socks for summer. And I’ll have to decide what to do with the three skeins of dark blue KP Gloss that I have. I’d planned socks, but there’s enough there for thigh-highs if I want to get adventurous [grin].

Adrift! -- Knitting Priorities

2007-03-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Reorganization is in order. It IS spring after all. Yes, yes. Spring for me usually involves much cursing of green plants and snuffling, shutting windows, grabbing at Kleenex, swallowing of allergy concoctions, etc. All that is still happening. Some forces of nature cannot be changed -- and "The Blooming of the Trees" has most certainly begun.

HOWEVER, I have a bigger problem. (stop laughing!) Having finished "the big sweater" AND having managed to get in a couple of wearings before the weather got too warm -- what to knit now?

Materials are not a problem. Projects are not a problem. Priorities and prospects -- THESE are the problems. The second red sock is keeping me busy for the moment -- but a crisis is immanent. I'm going to have to make a decision.

Items on the Needles

1. The orchid bobble-free "Bobble Blue" sweater from the cover of IK last spring. I finally managed to get the back completed all the way to the collar shaping with the pattern correct in all its parts. This took ALL SUMMER! I was frustrated and set it aside. I was new to cables, much less complex cable designs. It's lovely, and I'd like to get it finished to wear this summer. I've even found a skirt that matches!

2. The charcoal gray wool shawl from Folk Shawls. I've a significant chunk done, but now I wonder if I want to use the cream for this shawl, and use this lovely dark gray for a wool sweater -- maybe a cardigan with a shawl collar? A fitted pullover with a shawl collar? I've plenty of the cream for the shawl, and I'm more likely to wear the gray as a sweater than the cream. Hmmmm.

3. The long fiddled with Frog Tree cotton-silk camel-coloured leaf shawl (trailing vines I think, from Walker's Second Treasury) for which I plan to make the dangling leaves from Epstein's Knitting On the Edge in multiple fall colors. This is lovely to work with -- and seems to go on forever! It's been on the needles for two years now. [frown]

Projects on My Mind

4. Two or three summer/spring tops from Elizabeth Lavold's "Spring Breezes".

5. The bright orange Mandarin Petite cotton cable tank.

6. The Yoga mat bag from Inspired Cable Knits.

7. My purple alpaca sweater that "bloomed." Another IK pattern. This one is the Wear Everywhere sweater I think -- something like that. Anyway, a twisted rib pattern. Interesting and soothing to knit. AND it's the alpaca!

8. My tea cozy from the Noro. Lovely colours in that stuff!

Ah, the list could be endless. Now that I'm actually knitting from my stash -- I'm having a hard time picking and choosing. I'll start another pair of socks, of course. Gotta have socks going. But I'm taking votes on the others. Any ideas?

Oh -- my Hidcote Garden Shawl -- planned and the yarn chosen, but not yet started. There's another for the possibilities pile!

Knitting and Thinking – Much Accomplished!

2007-03-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I FINALLY found the usb cord for the camera, so I can catch up on the knitting adventures of the last six or seven weeks. I’ve been taking a class four afternoons a week from 3- 7p.m., so I’ve had large blocks of time in which to knit to keep myself busy and focused.

To begin, I’ll review a few things. The blue baby surprise jacket for my two year old niece turned out very well. I love the flecked buttons that match the Sindar yarn.

Both the class in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and the knitting have been very profitable. It feels like a very long time since January. [grin]

The second baby surprise is for a new baby – born in January – to friends and is made of KP’s Shine in apricot and cream.
The little guy should look great in this – and I couldn’t resist the bumble bee buttons!

The stars will look pretty fine on the flip side, too. I love the colors, the yarn has become a favorite, and the whole experience of making this was just great. I really love making a second "something" since the second time around, I already understand the pattern! This jacket needs some finishing work, but should be completed shortly.

This red sock is done in Paton’s Merino Classic Wool. I’m really enjoying the patterns in “Sensational Knitted Socks.”

This is an eyelot pattern called "Elongated Corded Rib." Not only is this my first sock with a stitch pattern, but it’s my first attempt at the heel recommended in the book with the rows of garter stitch before the turn. I love the feel of this heel and will be giving it more use in the future!

I also completed a set of socks in “Victorian Violet” Highland Wool from Elann.com and “Daffodil” Wool of the Andes from KnitPicks.com.

They are wearing well – but in the wash, so no pictures yet! The yellow stripe on the foot makes me think of the crocuses my mother loves at Easter! I used the charts from “A Knitters Handy Book of Patterns” to make this pair in plain stockinet stitch with the more traditional heal turn described in that book. The two different yarns have worn and washed well together – no awkward looking differences between them.

Next is my favorite. I’ll try to get a picture of the sweater “on” this afternoon, but here it is!

Green Raglan Sweater

Knit in the round, this is a short-sleeved V-neck sweater in 2-1 rib with a moss-stitch collar. The yarn is a dark pine green llama-wool 50-50% blend from Classic Elite. I got this yarn several years ago on sale for less than half price at a local shop. I’ve enough in black and in cream for similar sweaters – I just need to plan the variations I want and get started.

The whole sweater is knit in the round with raglan sleeves. My chief “innovations” occurred at the neckline. I did several rows reducing one stitch on each side of the V, then several decreasing two stitches slip one, ssk, slip stitch over or slip one, k2tog, slip stitch over. This gave me a nicely curved “sweetheart” neckline.

As I approached the top of the sweater, I stopped decreasing before getting all the way down to the sleeves. This gave me two small “corners” sticking out from the rounded head opening before the V started. I accented and extended these corners into a soft collar that can be pinned into a “key-hole” neckline or left open to stand slightly or drape flat in a wide open neckline particularly useful in warmer weather.

The weather here in MidMO cooperated and dropped from the high seventies yesterday to the fifties today, so I’ll get to wear my sweater to my last class tonight. Since I started the sweater in the class, my mates have watched the whole progression and are interested in the results!

Now that the camera is transferring pictures again, I’ll get caught up on pups and cats soon too. All are well, though the Dalmatian is grumpy about all my time spent away from home. He’s getting used to the change however, and is much more interested in playing fetch now that the warmer weather has arrived!

Which Austen Heroine -- a new quiz

2007-02-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

Well, a trip to Birdsong's page guided me to this quiz. An interesting result, and perhaps quite accurate in its way. But I wonder how much of the result is related to the fact that I just finished reading this novel last week!

Take the Quiz here!

Though I must admit to prefering this photo!

Of Cats and Contests

2007-01-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

Siamese with a Banana on her Head
I must admit to a highly suspect interest in discovering what others will do to their cats. As a child, I delighted in sneaking up on the dignified male cat the neighborhood had named "Taffy" while he was trying to get a drink out of the commode. I was not a wicked child. I didn't give him a swirly or anything. I just waited until he was pawing at the water to discover exactly where it was -- and then I'd nudge him in!

I figured this was a fair return for having my toes attacked while I was asleep! Taffy always managed to recover his dignity in short order. And he continued to attack feet whenever he was given the chance.

I only tried stuffing ONE cat into baby doll clothes. My grandmother's tabby, Mischief, was a grumpy thing. She managed to withhold the worst of her retribution who it came to the clothes, but when I tried to make her ride around in my red wagon while dressed as a doll -- well, that was her limit. Scratches and tears ensued. Since she returned to my Grandmother's house soon thereafter, we never really recovered from the quarrel.

I admire cats; I really do. I've a fuzzy black and white Oscar sitting behind my computer screen at the moment. He's only been subject to a couple of indignities. Tape on his feet was one. But he usually gets into enough trouble on his own. The time he tried to jump out at Lancelot the Dalmatian while Lance was charging after a basketball was a good example. Oscar jumped out standing on his hind feet, front paws spread and claws extended in a ferocious display -- and the Dalmatian ran right over him, completely unable to stop in time to respect the display.

The fact that Lance managed to stop while standing on top of the cat did not improve Oscar's response, but it had me gasping and rolling on the floor with laughter.

This latest contest from the folks at "Stuff on My Cat" is an excellent example of the human-cat interaction. http://www.stuffonmycat.com/index.php?itemid=3014#more
Cats with helmets. Everything from the banana-bearing beauty above to the winner, a lovely kitten sporting a cabbage! The cat's expression says it all! The creativity of the other contestants is varied and entertaining. And the patience of the felines is amazing! I see no wounded hands, missing fingers, or other evidence of mayhem resulting from these photo sessions. The cats seem to understand this as part of what must be suffered in the company of their particular humans.

They may be planning some spectacular midnight raids in retribution -- but the long-suffering looks seem to indicate a real understanding of the juvenile nature of humans. Indeed, Oscar's ability to be so charmingly juvenile himself tickles my fancy again and again. He will do amazing things in pursuit of a feather on a string, and has no pride at all when it comes to belly-rubs. He is stunningly patient with Sally the Shepherd as she persists in trying to herd him around the house. They have developed "safe zones" and some type of communication that let's each know when the other means business. They seem to possess a clear comprehension of their own form of "knock it off!" and rarely do more than irritate each other in their fun.

He's not done anything yet worthy of an entry into "Stuff on My Cat," but I'll keep the camera ready -- one never knows when he'll shed his dignity and ham it up for a photo shoot!
Oscar and Lancelot

The Gift of a Snowman

2007-01-20T18:56:00.000-08:00

The Gift of a Snow Man wearing a Christmas Scarf

Snow Man Detail

Comedic Interludes

2007-01-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

With “Christmas in Kansas” coming out in installments, regular postings must take the form of interludes or – heaven help us, a word from the sponsors. With Missouri buried in ice, perhaps the Morton salt jingle and a small girl in a yellow raincoat should come to mind. What I have instead is an extremely indignant Dalmatian and a very cautious shepherd!

Sir Lancelot is, as I’ve noted elsewhere, a very *male* dog. This is an utterly charming aspect of his personality, since I happen to enjoy character traits I associate with men. It can also make for some rather hilarious moments and metaphors, and this week of ice is no exception!

In general, Lance enjoys charging out into the back yard, bellowing his announcement of his presence and superiority at full gallop until he reaches a favorite spot of fence and lifts his leg. Those of you with male dogs probably know that this leg lifting is not a physical necessity, since a male dog who just *really* needs to go will arch his back and empty his bladder like a puppy. The leg-lifting his an adult marking behavior, and as they age, male dogs engage in it as it suits their mood and circumstances. As a side note, I’ve known two female dogs who lifted their legs – my grandmother’s extremely spoiled and much loved retriever-beagle mix and my husky , who is currently trying out a new home in Kansas herself, would both squat and then lift one foot mid-process. An interesting behavior, but not something I’ve ever heard thoroughly explained.

Anyway, back to the present and Sir Lancelot’s current battles.

My corner of Missouri received about a quarter of an inch of sleet and snow Friday, and subsequent rains and a bit of snowfall have done nothing to thin the coating of frozen, glassy whiteness. It looks like snow from a distance. But the stuff is so solid, I’ve been tempted to get my skates out and try using them in the back yard!

Saturday, Lancelot went charging out onto this sheet of ice, heartily engaged in his early-morning bellow. He immediately lost control, landed on his rump, and careened into the chain-link fence. Not to be deterred, he scrambled to his feet and located his favorite spot along the boundary of the yard.

Another physics lesson took control. He made repeated and determined attempts to maintain his leg-lift despite the fact that every time he started to go, his opposite front foot would start to slide out away from him.

He began to growl at the ice. He became more determined, more manly, and less interested in physics. He tried lifting his leg away from the fence, growling the whole while, and slowly sinking as each foot slid in a separate direction. The growls became indignant, and then morphed into a gurgle as he completely lost control and ended up belly down in a puddle of pee on the ice. He wasn’t happy about the bath that followed either!

Bubbles just seemed to be adding insult to indignity in his estimation.

In the hope of preventing further incidents – and avoiding additional dog-baths -- I tried taking the dogs out the front door rather than out the walk-out basement to the back yard. To my surprise, Sally the shepherd trotted to the top of the hill in the side yard, and as her paws started to slip, she tucked her back legs under her, and slid down the hill. She seemed someone chagrined, but maintained a certain aplomb, and glided to a spot part way down, long before she ran out of retractable leash-line. She investigated the lower side yard, took care of business, and used her heavy shoulders and badger-claws to hop her way back up the hill, grinning and thoroughly pleased with herself at this new game.

After this incident, she has avoided the top of the hill, and has been moving briskly about on the ice in careful, measured steps, staying well-centered and just going with the flow if a leg slides out from under her.

[sigh] Lance, on the other hand, is another matter entirely. His first couple of trips out the front, he stayed away from the hill, continued to growl at the ice and earned himself approximately one bath or thorough wipe-down for every three trips outside.
For those of you unfamiliar with non-Disney Dalmatians, the males have large, well muscled chests, lungs designed to let them keep up with trotting horses, and dainty feet that aren’t much wider than their legs. Pretty, but totally useless for scrambling in the ice and snow. No snowshoe effect here. They are trotters, not mountain goats and they certainly can’t qualify as all-terrain canines.

I had glanced back inside the house to check on the whereabouts of Oscar the cat when Lancelot discovered the top of the hill. In an instant, he disappeared around the corner of the house; I heard an aggravated grunt, felt a tug on the leash as he ducked his head and let the collar slide over his ears, and he was gone, his spotted form starting to spin as he melted into the gloom of the side-yard.

Hurrying while on ice is not something I’d recommend to anyone. I kicked off my slippers, so my socks would give me some purchase on the ice. By the time I managed to get far enough out into the yard to see the dog, he’d already encountered the gate to the back yard, had taken care of business in the comfortable angle created where the bottom of the hill met the fence, and was trying to pick his way back up the hill. Five minutes later, he was still trying, an earnest and determined look on his face every time he looked up at me. He’d tried coming up the middle, picking his way along next to the wall of our unit, and clambering along the rocks at the side of the next unit. With each attempt, he gained ground, finding a way past the points where he’d started his slide back down into the gloom. His determination was – well—dogged. And his earnest looks were heart-warming. He was not upset or frightened, just absolutely set on returning to my side. He would find a way. Each glance seemed to be telling me to wait. He would get to me.

I didn’t wait. After five or six minutes, I went scrambling back into the house, and Sally and I charged to the rescue, slipping and sliding our way out the back door and over to the gate. After another couple of minutes banging at the latch to get it open, I was able to welcome Lance back into the relatively flat confines of the backyard. He made a bee-line for the basement door. Once inside, he shook himself thoroughly, flapping his ears and lashing his tail like a whip. He climbed the steps to the living room at a steady pace, never glancing back. At twelve years old, this pace is much slower than it once was, and I was a bit worried that he’d strained something in his battle with the hill. He sniffed a ball and a bad cuz on his way to the water dish, then made for his usual spot on the couch. After clambering up to his spot and trompling around on the cushions in that mysterious dog-ritual left over from the ancient past, he plopped his rump onto the afghan and raised his head. On his face was the most delighted grin I’d seen there in some time.

He had battled the elements and had returned with his hide and his pride intact. Despite the slide down the hill, he had taken care of business, acquitted himself in a manly fashion, and had returned to my side and the comforts of the couch without requiring a bath. He was a happy man, um, dog, and he settled himself against me for a long winter’s nap!

What Classic Movie Am I?

2006-12-30T09:44:00.000-08:00

Well, Jane and Knitnana had me wondering about this quiz, so I had to try. The results certainly made me grin. I've used this movie to assist students in feeling SOME sympathy for Cathy and Heathcliff when teaching Wuthering Heights.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

A new post and pictures are on the way. Here's the title, and the reason I've been out of touch for much of the last week.

Christmas in Kansas!

A meme I’m going to actually complete!

2006-12-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

“THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the ‘6 weird things about you.’ People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.” Thank you Birdsong!

Okay, I don’t know why this one struck me as fun, but maybe the fact that it did should be added to the list of weird things about me.

Alright. Let’s see.

1. I like to pour chocolate chips into the jar of Jiff peanut butter (ONLY Jiff!) and then dig them out with a spoon. Quick candy fix!

2. . Every man I’ve dated for any length of time has asked me to marry him. Usually AFTER he’d broken up with me. Go figure? Since most were seriously flawed examples of the human game of genetic roulette and Social contributions to development, since most were, to my surprise, much to involved in creative chemistry experiments on themselves, and since most were lacking in basic principles like, um, honesty, honor, etc. this is not a good thing. However, the one good man I have dated for a significant length of time (current) has NOT asked me to marry him. He’s too smart to crowd me when we both have things that must be done before we can consider such a commitment. Go figure. Happiness and security come in packages we never expect!

3. I only adore Sean Connery in his older manifestations. The original Bond movies do nothing for me, but the one in which he makes a “comeback” and has to go to a health spa is one of my favorites! I’ve been hung up on him since I was about – oh—10, another weird thing. What 10 yo falls for a man who could be her grandfather – even in fan worship?

4. I tend to like and trust dogs as a race more easily than I do humans, despite the communication difficulties involved in having dogs as friends. This seems to manifest itself in strange ways. When meeting a new neighbor or aquatance, I will invariably remember the dogs/puppy’s name and forget the human’s name within 10 seconds. Stunning, and frequently embarrassing!

5. I frequently wander around my house with a blindfold on to protect myself from the light, and then leave the lights themselves turned on and blazing into the night! I’m sure this can be readily explained by some serious examination of fears and foibles, but why bother? It works for me!

6. I own more than 30 pairs of shoes or boots and usually go barefoot despite living in the Midwest with four distinct seasons. I’m usually outside barefoot in all four of those seasons. As a child my mother despaired of getting me to cooperate totally, but set the firm rule that I was not to do more than scoot the ten yards or so up to my grandmother’s in bare feet if there was snow or frost on the ground. My father required me to put on boots if I was going into the woods, and common sense required that I wear shoes for escapades that required climbing more than two fences. I could do one or two with no shoes, but more was just masochism. Learning to climb a wire (not sturdy chain link, but a more fledxible squared wire) fence in bare feet while avoiding sticker-burrs and the “hot” string of wire strung parallel to the fence was a rather arduous process which resulted in many whopping headaches!

Other oddities that didn’t make the list include the fact that I once spent three or four hours crawling around under my grandmother’s trailer trying to capture three wild kittens for my grandmother to pet. Additional quirks include I’m a fairly good artist, but rarely show anyone my drawings or paintings.

This is a drawing of my brother made from the picture which I also took. Got lucky with that one!

Also, I love practical jokes, both giving and receiving. Dan cannot understand WHY I think it’s funny if he pours a pitcher of cold water over me in the shower, but experimented with it several times after I’d done the same to him (only to discover that he is NOT at all amiable to such antics!) {snicker}. I’ll find something that will make him laugh at his own indignity yet! These are blog entries in themselves, so I’ll save the details!

This is a painted version (much abused) of the character I created for my nephew on the day he was born: Devlin's Dragon.

This is a drawing I made while riding in the car with my family. My nephew is about 10 mo. old, but it doesn't really look like him. The features are correct, but the combination and proportions wrong.

Now, whom should I tag? Ah – Pandamonium’s House Wench is first on the list, I’ll have to do some surfing to find other victims -- ah, friends — who haven’t been tagged already.

Back to the knitting!

What Kind of Coffee?

2006-12-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

What kind of COFFEE am I? Well, this too is appropriate. All coffee all the time? Yep.

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

What Kind of Reader am I?

2006-12-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, I found this quiz on the Knit the Classics blog. Gotta love it! Another one written just for me this morning!

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm You're probably in the final stages of a Ph.D. or otherwise finding a way to make your living out of reading. You are one of the literati. Other people's grammatical mistakes make you insane.
Dedicated Reader
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Non-Reader
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You?

The light is good for taking pictures today, so I'll get caught up on that and get back with you!

Peppermint Coffee and Chat

2006-12-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

It is a fact universally acknowledged, that I have a tendency to consume caffeinated beverages in large quantities. This is not good for my body, but Peppermint Coffee is certainly good for my soul! And the holiday season must have its indulgences!

I’m trying to get back into regularly scheduled programming, so this post may be a bit all over the place. However, since life tends to be all over the place . . . I’ll fit in. Fifteen inches of snow in Missouri must have a prominent place in any post I make. FUN!

Sally and Kala have been having great fun in the snow, and Lance has had his moments. [grin] In this one, he's looking for a snowball!

The washing machine is filling, the dryer is rumbling, and the bathroom sink is filling the air with the stink of wet alpaca, ah, such bliss. [grin] I love things made of alpaca, but it is almost as bad as wet dog when it’s being washed and blocked! Not that I’ve actually blocked the dogs, mind you. Nothing new, I’m afraid. Just the leaf lace shawl from previous posts. And the Ostrich Plumes Stole will be next. I’ve GOT to invest in blocking wires sometime soon.

Contentment and crisp snow-scented air swirl through my house, and I’m wrapped in the chenille shawl my mom gave me for Christmas several years ago. I wish I could say my toes were toasty, but store-bought cotton can’t compare to hand-made wool, and my tootsies are chilled! I’m about to start the heel on my lavender socks – having frogged them as started on larger needles. Mid-calf, simple rib. I’m trying to get these done FAST! I refuse to buy socks when I have this much scrumptious sock yarn to hand! [sigh] (note: failed that one and bought two new pair of socks as multiple pairs gave all in one week!)

My dog contingent has had its troubles recently, but getting Kala the Husky spayed should help with some of the problems. She and Sally the Shepherd have been arguing over Kala’s coming of age. Typical sibling sniping over toys escalated into a bar room brawl twice in six weeks. I was astonished at the amount of spit involved! NOT dainty dogs by a long shot. Silly jocks. How did a wimp like me end up with so many jocks for dogs? Not a single computer geek in the bunch! But the surgery went well, and the snow last week as completed the re-bonding process between the Husky and the Shepherd. Who can resist playing tag in the snow?

What else is new? Well, I’ve been working on a baby surprise jacket in shades of blue for my niece, and Friday I found the perfect buttons for it! Dark blue with light blue flecks. I think I’ll get pictures taken this afternoon, so I’m assuming that there is a picture here for you to ogle. This is the jacket in Elizabeth Zimmerman’s “Opinionated Knitter” and I’m having a blast knitting it up. I’ve doubled the yarn and gone up a few needle sizes to get something big enough for my two y o niece. Her deep blue eyes should be set off well by this yarn, and it’s acrylic, so she’ll actually be able to wear it with ease! Or should I say, her mother and father will be able to wash it with ease!

Now, a wicked head cold and then a sinus infection delayed this post by several weeks. So I’m still wrapped in chenille, but have a box of tissues surgically grafted to my elbow, and am getting increasingly grumpy about said graft. I think they took skin from my nose to complete the surgery. Cats purr, and I grumble. Dogs prance, and I grumble. If I had something dire, I would not be so grumpy. I’m only this grumpy when inconvenience is the chief factor of the malady!

I’m working on a shawl from Folk Shawls in charcoal grey Galway Highland Heather 100% wool. This will match my dark grey winter fedora, and give me a second winter-thick shawl to wear. Unfortunately for the shawl, I am stacked up with knitting projects to finish for Christmas – some of which are VERY satisfying and I cannot be tempted back to the grey wool when I’ve having so much fun making “Candy Cane Hats” in various flavors and fibers! These hats are from Melanie Falick’s Handknit Holidays and constitute my first attempt at real colorwork – the kind that involves switching back and forth in the same row! Fare Isle here I come!

Christmas music and some meditation have soothed my spirit a bit. And watching the dogs play with their “early” Christmas presents has had me cracking up! I couldn’t resist the “Bad Cuz” toys. You can see them here. They’ve a great reputation for lasting a long time, even with determined eviscerators like my three!

Well, time to take some pictures to supplement this post. I’ll put in the shots of the dogs in the snow to keep you occupied until the shots of the knitting are done!

A Smile

2006-12-09T09:06:00.000-08:00

We'll I must say, after a difficult week in many flavors, visiting friends' blogs and finding pleasant quizzes with positive endings can be a great relief!

While Reading Plain Jane Knits, I saw this quiz, which she got from Knitnana. What a happy surprise:

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Something written just for me, I'm sure, by some entity that really knows and understands my life! No? Okay. I am content with fortuitous good luck and a happy smile. I really needed to be reminded that I'm plugging along in the right direction!

More soon, with an actual focus on knitting. Gasp!

Which Jane Austen Character Am I?

2006-10-31T01:03:00.000-08:00

Meezer and Nanasadierose need to stop finding these great quizzes! I've got FOUR saved up to post about! But I just had to put this one up, even without much of a real post. I've spend too many years reading, analyzing, reading, daydreaming, and reading Austen's books to delay this one!

You scored as Elizabeth Bennet. As one of Austen's most beloved characters, Elizabeth Bennet represents what most women would like to become: strong, independent, and loyal. Of course, she has her faults including a stubborn will of iron and a clinging to first impressions. Overall, Lizzie is bright and lovable...something to admire and aspire to.

Elizabeth Bennet

69%

Marianne Dashwood

59%

Elinor Dashwood

53%

Emma Woodhouse

50%

Jane Bennet

47%

Lady Catherine

28%

Charlotte Lucas

22%

Which Jane Austen Character are You? (For Females) Long Quiz!!!
created with QuizFarm.com

Now I must admit that my similarity to the Dashwoods distresses me a bit. But I can't call the results inaccurate. [grin] I'd prefer to have Emma a bit higher instead, but the similarity to Elizabeth is flattering, and I suppose I'm not quite honest enough to admit just how bossy I am -- even in a quiz!

Reflections and Lace

2006-06-27T04:02:00.000-07:00

It’s odd for me to sit down with a wish to write for this blog and find I have little to say. Revision – little EXCITING to say. While I have a wish to be entertaining, I can think of nothing suitable to offer up for snickers, giggles, or guffaws. Nothing is wrong. I am not melancholy or morose. While I still struggle to keep my days and nights straight, I am enjoying my recent endeavors to meet new people and have been getting out regularly. My work progresses, and I’ve even conquered typical household problems like a clogged toilet and an argument between my computer and my scanner.

Confidence has reduced the roller coaster to a slightly hilly path, and sleep increases my ability to handle such bumps as bumps, not catastrophic occurrences. I have re-arranged furniture, purchased some lovely hanging plants, and made wonderful progress on my reading and my summer lace shawl. When traveling, I’m knitting the I-cord strips for the baby kimono from Mason-Dixon Knitting, the lost linen hand towel has been returned, and summer progresses at a reasonable rate.

All in all, it seems that functioning smoothly has become such an anomaly that I’m not sure what to do with it!

Wonder of wonders, I actually helped a friend with her resume, and in the process, managed to make inroads on updating my own without having to resort to hypnotic therapy or large doses of alcohol. It should be ready for fall without the pressure that circumstance usually adds to the task. While I continue to struggle with my own reluctance to ask for rides and assistance, I’m getting better at it. I have wondered if part of my reluctance is a fear that I will not contribute enough to be valuable to the person of whom I’m asking a favor – but I’ve evidence to disprove the concern. People seem quite willing to assist, especially since I tend to rotate my requests, rather than concentrating them on one person.

I have noticed the tentative beginnings of a feeling of interconnectedness – tentative, but not filled with concern or guilt. Odd, that. Blindness and depression can BOTH lead to such isolation, and while I have often spent large chunks of time in contemplative mode, walking the hills near my family’s home in southern Indiana, prowling the state forestry, or drifting on our own acreage in the dark, I am in inherently social creature when functioning normally. Despite the concerns that inhibit my encounters with the world, people fascinate me. They are so very interesting, even if I don’t like them!

Despite my conviction that the human race is far less civilized than we would like to think ourselves, I admire and wonder at what we can be each day. Watching a mind work, tracing interactions and responses, examining ideas of self and society and the webs of connection between those perceptions, hearing stories, watching faces as I tell my own, sharing reactions and events, contributing enthusiasm and quiet observation, all the variations both entertain and mystify me.

How to predict the equivalent of a k2together or a yarn over? How to repair a dropped stitch? If the lace metaphor holds, where do I position myself in the pattern? Am I part of a circular shawl, a triangle? A square? If I refuse the position at the center, instinctively knowing that this is not my place at this time, then how to orient my contributions? What part of the design suits my strengths, my predecessors and my antecedents? A quiet anchor stitch, one of many that make up the strength and beauty of the whole? Part of the edging, that intricate extra that must have the means to survive the risks of its tenuous position? How does my position, role, structure, composition change when those around me are altered by chance or choice, circumstance or fate?

The lace has been forming, the pattern starting to develop; I can finally begin to see the order of it. And I think it’s alpaca rather than acrylic!

Missing the Bus

2006-06-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

Friends and family will tell you, if they are being polite, that I often have a bit of a problem getting places on time. If in their cups, telling family stories, or recently frustrated by my long term habits, they’ll tell you I haven’t been early for anything since being born prematurely forty years ago! [sigh] I have made improvements. Since giving up driving, I’m usually on time, or only five minutes this way or that due to the vagaries of the bus system in a small town. I’ve also required myself to give up the fantasy of “just one more thing before I go,” a wicked and dangerous thought process for procrastinators and other unorganized types. Now, if I can just learn not to keep tossing “one more thing” into my knitting bag, I might be able to travel with some degree of calm serenity. As it is, my genetically inherited tendency to over-pack has me resembling a frazzled pack mule or over-burdened burro on most trips out into the world!

I’ve learned to keep my keys in my purse, my purse in one or two places in the house, and my hat and blind cane within reach of the front door – though in truth, I also keep extras of those two items.

And yet, there are still days when I miss the bus. [sigh] Some would consider this a euphemism for many things in my life, but having an intense focus on my own world is not always being oblivious, nor is it the same as having blinkers on. It’s not!

Oversleeping is often the culprit when I miss the bus. Don’t try talking to me on the phone unless I’ve had a significant amount of time and large quantities of coffee or hot tea to clear the fog! I have friends who call ten to fifteen minutes BEFORE they really want to talk to me if they know I’m likely to be napping. They wake me up, listen to me ramble until I find a source of hot liquid or caffeine, and then call back after a bit to actually hold a coherent (semi – coherent) conversation. Yet within this cloud of fuzziness and interiority, I find I can read Sartre, Derrida, Jonathan Culler, and other theorists without a problem. They make even better sense then than they do once I’ve had time to wake up and be distracted by the day. Makes me wonder just exactly what synapses are doing what in there!

But today, I find I must blame a watch whose pop-open lid and accessible hands are fascinating to the three-year-old imagination for part of the problem this morning. But honestly, the joy on a child’s face when she pops open my pendant watch so closely mirrors my own pleasure at owning the Braille watch that I wouldn’t refuse her access to it if I thought it would help. There’s something magical and mysterious about a watch on a chain that pops open on a touch. Like a jack-in-the-box or other items of happy expectation from childhood, this watch has changed some of my relationships with time. I’ve just got to remember to reset the hands to match the kitchen clock, one that’s a tad faster than the buses!

As for other matters of timeliness? Ahemm. I still have Christmas Presents in my house waiting to be sent. I’m just finishing the gifts for my mom’s birthday and mothers day – I love the colors and really enjoyed picking the patterns for these linen hand towels.

I have a drawer for collecting cards that didn’t get sent, and another of cards for “all occasions” which allow me to appear at gatherings with the appearance of timely preparedness –but it’s a scam. Well, today, my problems with time will not defeat me. After missing the bus this morning, I came home to some work and a nap, and now I venture out to restart the day in fine style as the busses go back to their fast-running schedules. Returned to my regular programming, I expect to get quite a bit done this afternoon, and I’ll have time to enjoy myself as well.

Oh yes, the mystery. A friend posted the following picture on her blog as a brave reminder of a lost friend. It is a lovely sentiment. But recognizing the event portrayed in the poster, I also had to smile.

KnitNana and I both have some trouble with our eyes, so her use of a poster depicting one of the final tests for Seeing Eye dogs did make me chuckle. That kitten may THINK she’s dashing through the valley of death, but those highly trained, fearsome looking Shepherds won’t budge. If they move to follow her, they fail their test. So she is safe. Amazingly safe, actually. So safe that with appropriate training myself, I would let these same creatures lead me into an urban jungle, a parking lot maze, or Wal-mart on a Saturday afternoon!

Part Two

I did get my errands done, and I must say, I’m having a lovely time making my way through the projects in Mason-Dixon Knitting. I’m well on my way through a version of the baby kimono, and it is such a lark! Quick to knit, very satisfying, and with just enough shaping and design elements to keep a mind satisfied.

While out and about, I picked up enough dishcloth cotton for another one for my niece – I’ll have to make some guesses as to sizing, but I think I can manage it. And I picked up more colors for more washcloths for the house. All this for under $20. Who could have thought?

After watching K. wearing one of her lovely shawls in the mall the other week, I am determined to have a summer-weight lace shawl for myself. Now. Let’s be honest. I have the makings for at least FIVE such shawls in the house, but continue to glance at the patterns, fondle the yarn, and then set the projects aside. Not sure what’s going on with that, but my lace cravings are resurfacing. And in my LYS last week, I spotted these lovely skeins of alpaca.

And with a bit of digging, I managed to find this lovely pattern from a back issue of --- well, I’m not sure which mag it was. But if anyone is interested, let me know and I’ll go digging for it again. Alpaca is one of my favorite fibers to work with, so I don’t this project will be collecting much dog-fur before being completed!

I’ve slept; I’ve had coffee (lovely substance!). I’ve chatted with friends online. It’s time to take pictures for this entry and get it posted. I read on a friend’s blog that blogger is working again, so hopefully, I won’t miss the bus on this posting!

A Good Day

2006-04-19T19:50:00.001-07:00

Defining what constitutes a good day isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes, just getting up in time to keep the dogs from peeing in the basement constitutes a good day. Other times, no matter how much gets done, no matter how many nice smiles or surprises the day holds, it just doesn’t qualify. The tenor is wrong, the melody keeps going flat, or the deep notes just overwhelm the balance. Not so today.

Today was a good day. Solid. Reasonable without being brilliant. Satisfying without being worrisome and without “raising the bar” for other days in the near future.

The Contents. I woke up at the first sound of the alarm, let the dogs out, and then went back to bed for a lovely doze in the cool fresh-morning air. Twittering birds and deep breathes of pollen filled air brought peace rather than hacking coughs. Gotta love the wonders of modern chemistry. [snicker].

I chatted with friends. I ran errands and managed to make all my bus connections. I knit and inch or so on the back of the camisole and sorted my yarn bag, and picked up the mail. I got to the post office and compared prices on phones and on microphone-headsets for the computer. I’ll now be able to talk to friends on skype – a free way to chat via the internet.

I ran into several people I know from having worked at a local department store last year, and I bought a new hat. While I longed for the pistachio colored number that evoked Audrey Hepburn and photo shoots in Paris and Rome, I couldn’t see dropping forty-three bucks on a hat that might get swept away in the breeze as a bus pulls up to let me on; I don’t look anything like Hepburn anyway. So I was content with my straw planter’s hat with the darker cream band, and had a friend spray it with lisle while we chatted so I could wear it the rest of the day!

I ate well, enjoyed a green-tea frappuccino while reading about the English Civil Wars, and helped some ladies find the quilting books in the craft section of the bookstore. I chatted with a former nurse on the bus, and with a gentleman from New York at the last bus stop of the day – and as I tapped my way down the sidewalk after getting off at my stop, I saw him waving to me through the window. He’d enjoyed passing the time with someone who’d visited NY and found the people friendly.

On the way home, I picked up my packages and found a taped copy of “O” magazine to read and my new copies of Inspired Cable Knits and Mason-Dixon Knitting waiting for me. My phone is set up, my dogs are fed, and I’ve enough energy to enjoy my cup of decaf-coffee and wind down for the night.

As I come to the close of this entry, and look forward to the imminent enjoyment of coffee, knitting, and an audio book, a faintly remembered feeling rolls through me. Soft. Quiet. Like the glow from an oil lamp.

It is peace. All I am required to do is smile.

2006-04-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

Dig Dig Dig -- yummy!

2006-04-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey look! I made dirt!

A Tale of Perception: Dumb Dogs and Happy People

2006-04-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

It’s a conversation I’ve had with a local friend several times. I always laugh. Always. Dumb dogs are actually a joy to have around. They just are. My husky is charming – but dumb. I’m not being snarky; she’s just not the brightest bulb in the box. But charm? Oh yes. Very charming!

Another friend found her on the street two summers ago. After a couple of weeks of ads which didn’t produce a viable lead as to her owner, well, He decided to keep her. They were living in my basement with his other dog – a Malamute. When his job change required him to move and give up the second dog, I decided to keep her.

THIS is what you wanted, isn't it?!?

She’s lovely – brown and white with pale blue eyes. She’s capable of learning: I’ve taught her to shake, and we’re working on sitting before being let out.

She’s great with kids and likes to catch one of my cats and escort him across the living room by walking alongside him while holding his head in her mouth. He tolerates this with benign resignation, and even goes looking for her some days. I think the slobber in his fur gets on his nerves, but he bears it well.

My eleven-year-old Dalmatian is finally starting to play with her when she bats him in the head repeatedly with her front paws and then turns belly up under his chin. My VERY smart shepherd/border collie mix has always loved her and tries to mother her – and now the husky has taken up some herding behaviors -- targeting the shepherd! A VERY funny reversal to watch, and the shepherd grins and obeys!

Teaching Kala takes time. What the shepherd gets in six or seven repetitions, and the Dalmatian gets in 10 - 15 repetitions, the husky gets in 35 – 45repetitions. But her utter DELIGHT in figuring out what it is you are asking for makes it all worth it! And today she walked under my afghan-covered legs and netted herself. Tossing her head like a horse, a frequent affectation, she tugged, and turned, and tugged , and tossed, and stompled her feet, and got excited, and finally got her nose out, and then appeared and hopped up to join me on the couch, grinning at her fun and pleased that she’d finally gotten out. [ chuckle].

Attitude!

Sooooo pleased with herself! One afternoon, while spending time with a three-year-old friend, Kala and said friend kept each other busy for more than an hour. G. blew bubbles and Kala ate them – over, and over, and over. As long as the child was willing to blow bubbles, the dog was willing to eat them. The Dalmatian ignored the bubbles, and the Shepherd ate one or two and quit – they tasted bad! But Kala liked the giggles she got from me and the girl, so she ate every bubble that came her way,grinning and content. Her ego is not involved; She is enjoyment wrapped up in fur.

I aspire to be a “dumb-dog” knitter. I really do. I’m working on it. My recently finished purple alpaca – ahemmm. BLOOMED. I don’t know what else to call it. Now I’d forgotten to shorten the sleeves, and I knew it was a bit large – I hadn’t calculated the proper amount of negative ease. But it was soft, and cuddly, and . . . then I washed it.

[Sigh] I swear I made and washed swatches. They didn’t “bloom” at all to this extent. The sweater – um – grew – from a women’s large to a men’s XXL.
I set it aside. The fabric was lovely. The pattern was perfect for it. Easy to memorize. I’m frogging. I will swatch again and start over with the already washed yarn. Maybe it was spring growth pheremones in the air or water? That old “spring is in the air”? Surely it cannot bloom to that extent again! We’ll see. But here is the “blooming sweater” now, as I frog, and frog, and find to my surprise that it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’d much rather frog the whole thing and start over than try to adjust it and live with the inappropriate proportions. I love working with this yarn and was actually sad about being finished. I hope to get it right as I slowly re-work the sweater this summer, but I’m more surprised at how little ego is gnawing at me. Shouldn’t I be more upset? Shouldn’t I be stomping around and pissy because this happened? Cursing myself and the yarn, fate or my lack of experience?

Nope. No inclination at all. The pleasure of having the yarn run through my hands is just as real while frogging it as while working it. The color is still lovely, and I’ll get to do this again without the anxiety of wondering how to interpret instructions. I’ve already figured it all out. Now I can make the sweater without the stress of all the instructions being “new.” It will be both familiar, and much more enjoyable. I like the challenge of new patterns and new skills – but I‘m happy with knowing what I’m doing as well!

With that idea in mind, I’m using the pattern for the top I made last summer to make another of the leaf-edged camisoles -- this time in KnitPicks cotton Shine – in River. It's a Knitty.com pattern called "Soleil" and is comfy to wear and pleasant to knit.
You can find the original and the pattern at:
Spring 05 Knitty "Soleil"

While I've chosen a color far from the original, I think the Dark Blue will show to advantage with summer shorts and cropped pants. I love working this lace pattern, and the shine is wonderfully soft to work with! I’m planning several more tops in this yarn for later this summer -- colors and patterns to be determined!

I also must admit that on a recent visit to my LYS, I gave in to temptation, and I purchased some CottonFleece to make the cover sweater from IK – without the bobbles. I’m just not in need of bobbles on my torso. I have plenty of curves and bumps of my own, thank you very much!. But I love the cables and the neckline in this sweater, and hope to have it done within the month.

As you can see, the first swatch is done and washed. I need to check the guage and then take the next steps – swatch the rib again to get the correct guage, or try a cable pattern swatch. Isn’t the wisteria color gorgeous?!

Other happenings? My purple socks are going well, and I really like the Woldefoote yarn. I’ve picked up a couple of skeins of this wonderful read for my next pair.

The re-worked blue Opal socks are getting much wear, and I’m quite happy with the turnout. I still haven’t achieved the perfect size –But I continue to adjust and dabble. I’ll find my perfect fit in socks eventually.

My meditation / Yoga class is over, and I’m a confirmed meditator now. It’s helping with so many aspects of my life – concentration, stress, personal interactions, etc. I spend so much of my life in my head, thinking about my life rather than living it. Meditation and “dumb-dog” knitting seem to be adding new dimensions to my life and my knitting-life.

‘Tis a gorgeous day, and it’s time to put in some time listening to Moll Flanders while knitting. Oooh. And Knit the Classics will be reading two of my favorites in May and June – Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights. I can’t wait!

Henry's Wife?

2006-01-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

Well, according to the questionaire . . .

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury

But how is it that I end up being his LAST wife -- I wanted to be one of the wives BEFORE the syphillis! Hrrumph! Well, interesting at least. I tried taking it a second time, changing only one answer, and ended up this:

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury

But after much experimentation, I can't remember which! But it was fun to notice which answers did NOT change either result, particularly when it came to "favorite clothing"!

On to knitting. Having joined two KAL's, I'm feeling like a knitter with purpose today! I also managed to finish the hat last night, and can start on the matching scarf today. Pictures tomorrow I think!

Picture Update!

2006-01-25T09:57:00.000-08:00

I've finally gotten a few pictures updated and thought I'd add them while I was thinking about it! Here, in all it's glory, is the purple sweater:

The brown background doesn't do the rich color justice, so I took a few more shots. This one is closer to reality -- at least on my screen! I love this alpaca from Elann. It's so wonderfully soft to knit with. Can't wait to wear it!

Now, Mom's hat set. Well, again, the color was dimmed by the background, so first, a blurry but accurate color shot and then the shot with the details.

As you can see, I'm still struggling with this new camera. Since it doesn't have an LCD screen, I'm also getting many shots off center. How's that happening? Must be moving!

Well, those are the details at the moment. I'll save you the sad sight of my blue socks frogged and re-rolled into separate yarn balls. Such a sad loss. Such a short life. Ah for the resurrection of the yarn!

More Ideas than I Know how to Handle!

2006-01-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

Well, after an uninspiring weekend, I’m finally getting some good news. I did get into the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) program, and it takes place at 3:30 in the afternoon, so I’ve plenty of time to catch the bus home after each session! Today is the first meeting, and I’m looking forward to getting started. I also need to get going on my regular work schedule for the semester, so getting this meditation routine set as a touchstone for my daily activities will be a great motivator. Yesterday and today I spent much of my time sleeping off a cold – how is it that I got a beginning of the semester cold without going to campus? Anyway, I’m still sniffling, but not feeling too bad at all, so a little meditation and focused work on my research project should be right in order.

Now for the uninspiring news from last week and the weekend. I frogged the blue socks. Yes ladies of the KAW group, make room on the lily pad! “I’m comin’ on over!” I’ve never totally frogged a whole set of socks before. I’ve re-worked toes which were both long or short, but never just frogged whole completed socks! Ah well, they were just too loose all over. I’ve another pair that will get the same treatment when I feel like searching for the end of the yarn in all its woven-in invisibility. My problem? I thought / assumed I knew my gauge even though I switched sock yarns. It seems I knit a bit more loosely with Opal than I do with KnitPicks Essential. [sigh] So, back to the bare needles!

Frustrated with socks, and FINALLY finished with my last Ribbon Scarf, I went back to work on the red hat and scarf set I’m making for my mother. This is the triangle scarf and hat from Handknit Holidays. And much to my chagrin, I blurted out that I was back to work on the hat while talking to mom today – so much for surprising her! I really feel like a goof! Ah well, hopefully the style and the lovely Boheme yarn in multiple shades of red will surprise her enough for the time being. I am pleased with how this is knitting up. I am working on the scarf last so I can adjust the length to match the amount of yarn I have left after the hat. I also have picked up the needles for my purple sweater once again. I feel like a real knitter when working on the sweater – real clothing that everyone recognizes as such! A useful garment! I love knitting lace and socks, but most of my non-knitting friends seem to think both a tad impractical or eccentric. However, I like eccentric, and I love lace. I need to get back to my traveling vines shawl in Frog Tree silk-cotton if I want it ready to wear by spring. I’m going to trim it with the little dangling leaves from “Knitting on the Edge”! I can’t wait! I’ve got several shades of yarn to make the leaves, so it should look like a fall leaf-fall! This shawl / stole will be completely mine in so many ways – I owe the basic patterns to Epstin and Walker of course, but When finished, I’ll have combined them into something of my own. I’ve been charmed by this leaf-fringe since “Knitting on the Edge” came out, so finding a base pattern I liked for the shawl, and the colors that got my imagination going was a real thrill!

I’ve also got the “I wants” for some KnitPicks wool to make that computer case I was talking about. I finally found the pattern – an excerpt in the “Interweave Knits” with the red, slightly asian looking sweater on the front. Not sure which issue that one is, not the current one, but the one before. Anyway, I’m resisting the urge. I need to use some burnt orange “Naturgarn No. 1” I got from Elann several years ago – my first on-line yarn purchase actually. It is much scratchier than I expected, so I’ve yet to figure out what to do with it! However, now that I’ve had it out, I wonder if it would do for the swing jacket from Knitty? The one with the twisted-stitch detailing?

I love this pattern, and wanted to make it in a charcoal gray Galloway Highland Heather, but the color was too dark, and the detailing was lost. Hmmmmm. More ideas than I know what to do with!

Snow in the Dark

2006-01-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

Magical stuff, isn’t it? I woke at the unnatural hour of 4:30 a.m. after having slept much of the last 24. Light headache and tensions having made the last few nights more than a little restless. Waking could have been due to that rare and wonderful sensation of having finally slept myself out. A rare treasure, that. Or it could have been the fear of drowning that is the natural result of having my Husky lick my nose -- she’s VERY thorough and VERY enthusiastic! Perhaps waking was the result of both. Anyway, I got to look out and see it snowing in the dark. It didn’t stick – Missouri is far too warm at the moment. But what a lovely sight!

I’ve just about finished my sock in a blue Opal. I used K2P2 ribbing down the whole body of the sock. After this pair, I should be up to trying a lace pattern! Can’t wait.

I have some lovely KnitPicks “Essential” yarn in a rich brown that I’m looking forward to using. I find that I like their solid yarns much more than their multi’s. For some reason, their color combinations just don’t appeal to me, and I don’t like something about the frequency and harshness of the color repeats. No soft blendings at all, just highly contrasting stripes.

Anyone have suggestions for other sock yarns with less dramatic color changes? Something the blends gradually from one to the next would be my preference, with sublte stripes, if any.

I’ve realized I’ve been having a bad week. Messed up trying to get my SSI appeal turned in. Nothing that some additional paperwork won’t fix, but it bummed me out. That and I don’t like to have to “go to war” for such things. Continually having to explain the difference between acuity and functional vision to people who have the power of pursestrings is wearing. Friends, interested strangers, even casual acquaintances don’t take as much energy as struggling with these people. Ah well. As M. reminds me, such explanations will be a continual part of the rest of my life. Best find a way to cope.

The house is shaping up, and I’ll be moving furniture and setting up the scanner for transferring books into electronic format later today. I can’t wait! Taking an exacto knife to my books will be a surreal activity for a while, but the double-sided scanner is a marvel! In addition to books for school, I’ll be able to scan and then read books like “KnitLit 3, and other books of essays K.’s been telling me about! The woman is great at describing things to me so I can decide if it’s worth the effort involved to get something in an alternate format!

Lance is modeling the ribbon scarf from Handknit Holidays -- I did three of these! I love the frothy mesh, and the royal blue Karabella lace mohair is wonderfully soft! Unless you really need the sheen of silk, it's a great substitution for Kid Silk Haze. I’ve also started organizing my stash and storing it in all the great cardboard boxes that my Braille magazines get shipped in. Got more Braille labeling tape for them, and this weekend I get to go through the whole huge mass of the stuff to sort and play with it! Yummy!

I’ve decided that the next project I cast on (other than socks!) will have to be a felted laptop case. Lady the brat-cat has discovered the laptop as a new source of warmth. Since they took the lid off the thing to eliminate the screen and the power drain of the screen, it doesn’t have anything covering the keys when I walk away from it. Several times in the last few days, the screenreader has started screeching because the cat decided to hunker down on the keyboard to warm her paws! Not a good situation!

I’m trying to remember what book or magazine has the pattern I want. I thought it was in Melanie Falick’s Weekend Knitting, but neither that book or Last inute knitted Gifts had one. I can see the picture, an orange-yellow felted rectangle with short little rounded handles – more like cut-outs for your hand to go through than real handles. Anyone know what issue of what knitting mag this must have been in? Frustrating. I’m getting as forgetful as one of the dogs!

Well, the sun is well up at this point. Time to try getting a few pictures of some of these projects to get put into this message and the last one. Maybe I can get in some time on my purple sweater today?

Hmmmm. I’ve been up for six hours already and I feel like a nap! No. No. must be productive like a regular person today! Much to do and much that I want to do. Happy Knitting!

Tinking in the Dark

2006-01-05T01:01:00.000-08:00

Twelve blocks in just under four-four time despite a medium nasty migraine. Not a bad start to my plans to get off my keaster. Glad to be back inside without streetlamps and headlights though. Sally and Kala did well with the blind cane, but Lance ran into it a few times. Not bad for an old dog. All three are as pleased with me as I am with myself. Great feedback for such a small effort on my part.

The catalyst for all this productivity? The wonderful women at the yahoo Knitters at Work group got me to pick up my copy of :”Full Catastrophe Living” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I want to start back on the regular use of my meditation program – maybe even sign up for the classes again. I need to get out of the house more and have more structure. Yup. Gotta get that started. I can get through the full body scan and the sitting meditation exercises without falling asleep on a regular basis. Most of the time I don’t fall asleep until AFTER I put down my knitting now. So my concentration and awareness are improving. It’s time for formal instruction and committed effort.

I finally got together with K. for our gift exchange. Having food poisoning for Christmas was not fun! I missed out on Christmas Dinner and all sorts of goodies, but I’m finally feeling better. Honestly, today is the first day I haven’t had twinges in my spleen, liver and kidneys. I never knew food poisoning would be so debilitating after the initial – umm – reactions. Guess I’ve just been lucky! Anyway, last night was a wonderful time! I managed to pick a knitting book for K. that she didn’t have yet, G was mystified by the kaleidoscope, but happy and polite about the gift. And her interest in the toy increased as the three of us took turns looking into the tube. At three she has a bit of trouble trying to close just one eye, but she’s getting the hang of it! K. and G. picked out some lovely Jaeger spun Zephyr wool/silk laceweight yarn for me. G. insisted that I would like the red, and K. picked out a beautiful green for me. Very Christmasy!! The package also included a gorgeous set of Lantern Moon ebony needles -- how did K. know I’d been coveting hers for the last few weeks? Yummy knitting toys to play with!

Took a break from writing there and spent the last few hours fondling yarn and looking through lace books. I’m dying to make something from “A Gathering of Lace,” but I’ve also got the flower basket shawl to make, and a shrug to make from the heather grey lace weight Merino Oro that I picked up last spring. So much Lace, so little time! [snicker]

Having repacked my knitting bag last night to go to K.’s, I’m also eager to get back to work on my “Wear-Everywear pullover” in the pure alpaca from Elann. Buttery gorgeous stuff. And in a lovely purple. Not sure what they called the color two years ago. Not violet. Not amethyst. Anyway, this fancy-rib pattern has had me tinking quite a bit, and I’m also knitting this project in the dark or with my blindfold on as often as not. It’s a good project for learning to solve problems with my fingers rather than with my eyes! It will be a while before I’m ready to tackle lace completely in the dark!

Hmmm. Thinking and typing are getting more difficult as I now have a thirteen year old cat with a very loud motor sitting on my shoulder! When Lady decides to come out of hiding, she’s absolutely convinced that I must be as eager for her company as she is for mine. Spoiled brat-cat! My vet tells me I didn’t cuff her about the ears enough as a kitten. I believe him. But when you get one so small you’re feeding it from a preemie bottle and having to help it relieve itself . . . well, I’m sure you understand the dilemma. But it was funny that as soon as I described her personality, he knew she’d been bottle-fed.

My mom’s Christmas is partially done. As she’s not likely to visit this site anytime soon, I’ll include a picture of the hat and scarf from Handknit Holidays. I bought the actual boheme yarn for this, not realizing that it came in different size skeins. I got one skein as the book calls for, and then realized that this was a smaller skein, and the project call for a larger. So. I was lucky enough to have ordered a variety of skeins of “wool of the Andes” from knit picks for making ornaments –-nope, that didn’t happen either -- and I was able to find a skein of iron ore that really matched the shades of the boheme very well. So I used the pure wool for the top of the hat, and did the decorative, triangles in the boheme. The scarf will be all in the boheme. I’m pleased with how the hat is coming along. Mom will like the softer and warmer wool for the top of the hat anyway! She actually lives someplace that has SNOW in the winter. Can you tell I’m already tired of mud? The set are to go with Mom’s new red leather jacket. She can also wear the set with her “snow-coat” which is cream with red and white embroidery. The variegated reds in the boheme make it a great choice for this project!

Well, time to bring this ramble to an end. I want to get a note off the girls at KAW as well. And sleeping might be a good idea since I’m feeling better!

Ah, Sally the shepherd just settled in next to me. Maybe I’ll stay put for a couple of rounds of knitting after all. I’m a sucker for a dog that settles onto my feet and sighs as she lays her head! Now all I need is a fireplace, and my picture-perfect scene would be complete. The oil lamp is good. But a fireplace . . . . nothing better!

BananaKnits Falkenburg Sweater

2005-12-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

This is a gorgeous piece of work, but I can't imagine what she went through with the pattern. I'm interested in the Mermaid pattern myself, but don't know if I'll ever order one now. I'll have to ask K. about her Falkenburg.

Falkenburg sweater

What Pattern is Your Brain?

2005-09-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Knitnana finds the coolest do-dads for a blog!~

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a multi dimensional wonderland, with many layers.You're the type that always has multiple streams of though going.And you can keep these thoughts going at any time.You're very likely to be engaged in deep thought - and deep conversation.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Habits of Mind and Body

2005-09-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can fall so easily out of the habit of writing? Imprecise. Out of the habit of blogging? I get stumped on the question of how to handle a topic uppermost in my mind. I get caught up in the idea of providing entertaining offerings. I get out of many habits, including contacting friends and frustrated by trying to communicate with some family. So I retreat to my own little world, mope a bit, then remember how much more fun it is to chatter away and gab back and forth.

I am home from a most revealing two months spent finding new ways to live with being functionally blind. This has gone exceedingly well for me. I shut my eyes, protect myself from the pain of over exposure to light, and in a relatively short time, my energy levels go up, my depression subsides, my capacity for work and my overall productivity shoot WAY up, and my confidence climbs. I can be much happier and more successful functioning as a blind person than struggling to use the sight I had despite the pain I was in.

It seems like common sense now, but honestly, a person doesn't make these choices unless she's up against a wall. No one chooses to shut their eyes unless they cannot live a good life while trying to see.

Dealing with the reactions of other people has proven to take the most energy. I've many excellent supporters, both friends and family. But explaining to people what is happening, what has happened, can be draining. For many, it's not something they can grasp -- they look to me to explain what I don't really think can be explained unless you've had to make similar choices. I can still open my eyes, see my niece and nephew and watch their faces as they discover the world. But for work -- using the software that describes everything at high speed so I can keep the monitor turned off is far preferable to the headaches and constant exhaustion I've known for more than a decade.

Hope. I have hope, and joy, and they are much easier to touch when not fogged by pain or clouded by doubt about whether there is any way to get through the mountain of each day with my eyes open. With my eyes closed -- a habit of mind and body to be acquired -- I have no trouble seeing either. They are tangible, vivid things, with my eyes closed.

A Tale of Perception: How Much Yarn Does It Take to Get to Cleveland?

2005-07-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

Ba Ba Black Sheep, Have you any wool . . .

Okay, I didn’t bring the full three bags full with me, but I did bring two duffels of various yarns for a variety of projects, from presents for my niece to sweaters I’d like to be able to wear this winter.

What am I doing in Cleveland you ask? It is a long way from Missouri. I’m attending the Cleveland Sight Center to get training on Jaws, a screen reader program, and brush up my Braille and learn other gadgets and tactics to make me faster at work. As you know from previous entries, I’ve had trouble keeping up with the workload for teaching and studying for my comprehensive exams. I’ve tried explaining to various people where I’m going, and have found that the easiest explanation is to tell them I’m going to a blind school. You can see the images of Mary Ingells and Helen Keller flashing through their brains, but they seem to get the concept much faster that way than if I tell them it’s a training center.

And why all the yarn? It’s the closest thing to a teddy bear that a thirty-nine-year-old woman can respectably appear with in public! I’ve got purple alpaca, heather grey merino wool, a celery green Jo Sharp DK wool, and a lovely silk- cotton blend with me. I have yet to toss them all on the bed and roll around for the pleasure and comfort of it, but without my menagerie to keep me company, a girls gotta do something!

I’ve been having a great time playing with the computer – I’m writing this entry to practice my editing skills with JAWS. I’ve met several new people who are fun to work with and as gadget happy as I am. One of the other girls here is interested in learning to knit, so the extra skeins of cotton I brought will be useful. I have had several evening chats as we get used to the center and pine a bit for home. I’m lucky in that I can also take comfort from the dogs here at the center -- working dogs that I ask permission to pet -- and get a little “doggie-time” and interaction each day. C. is not comfortable with animals, so she doesn’t have that comfort. I can’t imagine life without all my critters, but know that some people manage to live their whole lives without ever having a dog wash their face or a cat purr them to sleep. [snicker] Of course, I’m having an easier time remembering the dogs’ names than those of their owners, but that’s to be expected for me!

I’ve got to remember to ask the living skills instructor how she keeps track of rows as she knits, since the standard row counters are too small for me to read.

I needed a small project I could work on in the dark after acquiring a light head-ache yesterday, so you sock-knitters will be overjoyed to hear that I’ve finally broken down and started my first pair of socks. I’m using a worsted weight wool-blend and will enjoy the fuzzy-comfort of a new pair of baggy socks. No throwing tomatoes! I’ll work my way up to sock-yarns and hand-dyed foot-wear-art soon enough!

The trip here was an adventure. I’m making the dress with the seed-stitch bodice for my niece – the one from Special Knits – and got the back finished while waiting for the tow-truck to come take my mother and I back to Sharon, PA after a fender bender. No, I wasn’t driving this time, my mother was. After checking on all of the participants, her first worry was “There goes my good driver discount!” She’d never been in an accident that was her fault, and the experience shook her up a bit. Given that her nerves were stretched from waiting for me to make my way from Missouri to Indiana where I stayed at my brothers, and then from Indiana to her place, I’d say the woman handled herself very well. We finally got back to her place, had a drink and both took naps! The next evening after she got off work, we were on our way again, intrepid explorers investigating the highways to Cleveland. We both got a lot of mileage out of the fact that she was letting her blind daughter do the navigating, and we had a wild time trying to find the grocery store in Cleveland once we had my baggage unpacked in my apartment.

Now we each have our own adventures to manage. Adventures you say? Certainly. I get to spend my time with more members of the blind community than I’ve ever met before, and my mother gets to baby sit two of the three “grandpuppies” from my menagerie! Watching this non-dog-mom manage an excited husky who is bouncing around with no self-control, so excited that she’s going outside that she is leaping in the air and turning in circles is quite a site. I don’t think I’ve heard quite that tone in Mom’s voice since the last time she tried to stuff my brother’s toddler-arms into a winter coat! [grin]. Just what she needs to keep her busy and confirm her in the opinion that she doesn’t even want a cat of her own!

A Tale of Perception: Mobility and the Milwalkee Mugger

2005-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Mobility and the Milwalkee Mugger

Fall of 1995, I was just coming down off of the high doses of prednisone prescribed to try to halt the growth of a “retinal anomally.” Now for those of you who’ve never had high doses of prednisone (80 mg a day) it sometimes comes with side-effects like extreme paranoia, impulse control problems, insulin / blood sugar spikes and plunges, etc. I happen to be one of those that go temporarily bonkers on the stuff. But since it is the first line of defense for addressing a reactivation of the histoplasmosis which gnaws at my vision, I take the stuff and go nuts for two weeks when mandatory.

In the rest of life, I was in the second year of my Master’s program in English Literature and had had my first paper accepted to a professional conference – not only that, but it was an international conference, not a graduate student conference or a local or regional conference. This was a huge honor, and I desperately wanted to read my paper myself. So I had it ready, printed out in a 36 point bolded font and hoped to be able to control the paranoia long enough to take part in the conference. Just in case I couldn’t handle the stress or if my eyes suddenly got worse during this unstable period, I had a friend along to help me negotiate the conference and to read the paper in my stead if necessary.

Jenn was a great woman. She was the first person to recognize the simplicity and necessity of just asking me what I could and couldn’t do or did or didn’t want to try when it came to taking part in activities like the grad student three-on-three basketball games each week. In the middle of a crowded department event, she’d been trying to get my attention for several minutes through the babble, and final said, “hey, blind girl! I’m trying to get your attention!” which had me cracking up laughing and had her catching hell from the more sensitive types in the department until they realized that between the two of us, it was a sign of comfort and acceptance. I’m short and red-headed, and had been known as “Red” or “the short redhead” throughout my time in community theater while in high school. So for me, the nick-name was a great way to defuse tension. We explained our meeting to someone once. Jenn said “I’ve never met a blind person before, is it okay if I just ask what you need or you are interested in joining us in doing something like basket ball or playing pool?” My response was: “I’ve never been blind before, so asking me is the best shot you have, and I may not know until I try. As long as that’s okay with you, we’ve got a plan.” We kept it that simple. She never assumed, and I never hesitated to let her know if I needed something. I haven’t been that comfortable with new friends since then.

Anyway. The day before I was to give my paper, we were walking back to the hotel in downtown Milwalkee Wisconsin. The conference was held at the Marquette University there, not the one in Michigan. I was walking with my big noir filter glasses – the darkest grey ones that block 98% of the spectrum – and with my handy red-and-white cane. I was carrying a satchel with my Braille ‘N Speak, my magnifiers, my wallet, and other essentials in my left hand.

Now keep in mind, I walk very briskly with the cane – in about half or two-four time for those of you who are into music. I started mobility training within three months of losing my vision, and had used my old Austrailian shepherd to go to the post office in our town of 257 people every other day during those three months. I didn’t learn the caution most people pick up, and my mobility specialist encouraged me to most briskly, with purpose, and to maintain a steady pace at all times. He said not to hesitate, but to keep moving if addressed by strangers or confronted by someone I didn’t feel comfortable with. He bade me remember that I DID have a four and half foot piece of stout, flexible aluminium in hands that could be used at need. He also pointed out that moving in at a steady pace made it much easier for others to determine how to interact with me at intersections or at narrowings in the path. The only time I’ve ever had more trouble than occasionally tripping on cracks or stuttering over uneven shadows was when hiking once. I moved to climb out of a creek-bed up onto the bank, and a tree-branch I hadn’t seen or been aware of poked me dead-center of my left glasses lense. Scared the living hell out of me . I had to sit down on a rock for fully ten minutes to recover my composure. Now when hiking, I walk with a stout staff that is taller than my head so I can sweep it back and forth at face level when necessary and poke it back and forth at my feet to locate the ground and stabilize me as I’m walking from rock to rock in a stream (although I usually just walk in the bed of the stream as it’s more stable and getting my feet wet is part of the fun!).

Back to Milwalkee. I’m moving at my usual pace, and unbeknownst to me, my friends fall behind as they pause to look in a shop window. Part way down the block, an unkempt man in dirty Carhart overalls starts walking backwards in front of me, crouching down and peering into my face as he does so. He starts making odd grimaces and faces. He doesn’t say anything. And for a few moments, neither do I. People can be idiots, and if they make fools of themselves gawking briefly, I don’t consider it worth my while to take notice of them. But this guy persisted for more than half a block. I kept moving at the same pace and swinging my cane, tap-tap-tapping, rap-rap-rapping it on the sidewalk and he had to hustle occasionally to keep from getting hit by it.

Finally my irritation peaked as I realized that this uncivilized baboon was going to walk backwards into the intersection if he didn’t stop annoying me. The prednisone and the aggression that it fosters in response to the paranoia undoubtedly inflenced the way I addressed him. I did not pause. I did not hesitate. If he’d stopped moving at all, he’d have gotten wacked with the cane. I just kept heading straight for him an asked in the most demanding tone I possessed “DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?” tap tap tap. He gaped. He gasped. He almost fell on his ass in shock. Tap tap tap. Louder and more aggressive: “DO! Rap. YOU! Tap. Have! Rap. A! PROB! LEM!?” Tap. Tap Tap.

He ran like hell.

My friends scurried up just then, asking why I was talking to that strange man. “Did you know he was eying your bag? He might have done something to you!” “It’s okay. I think he’ll pause before jumping out in front of anyone using a blind cane from now on!”

On a less dramatic note, I was able to deliver the paper myself, and it was a hit!

The only thing better than four and half feet of flexible metal would be a dog with good senses and big teeth. But have you ever seen a dog-jam in a hotel lobby? Ah well, that’s another story.

I must admit though, I was surprised when my mobility teacher in Indiana told me that a large percentage of people who loose vision as adults become homebound, at least until the vision loss progresses until they qualify for a dog. I even met a woman who said she refused to use a cane because she didn’t like people staring at her. I can understand that part, but they’re going to stare when you use a dog too.

I think many people without vision problems find the cane an ominous object, something they don’t know how to negotiate socially. They seem more comfortable with dogs since dogs are an icebreaker. I wonder if I put I.D. tags on the cane? maybe a hair bow? if people will feel better walking up and striking up a conversation with me: “oh, how cute. What’s your cane’s name? How old is he? Oh how cute! Can I pet your cane? What lovely markings! Oh your such a smart cane aren’t you? How long have you had him?”

Honestly, I would love the companionship of having a dog as a mobility partner. The isolation gets to me, and I like the idea of having a smart, savvy creature keeping an eye on me. I do remember the first time I spent much time in the company of someone using a dog. Shiela (the black lab) would eye my cane when I popped it out, and then keep an eye on me as well as on my student when we walked around campus, particularly when going up or down stairs. Josh couldn’t figure out why she kept stopping at the bottom of the stairs until I let him know she was keeping an eye on me too when I was with them and waiting for me to catch up!
Well. Gotta get back to work on some research. I’ve got some great news to share about my appointment with my new Rehab Services counselor / regional director I met for the first time yesterday. I’m still caught somewhere between sobs and giggles of relief after this meeting. Life’s going to get much better for me soon. Yipee!

Opinions Needed by Saturday!

2005-06-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

I thought I'd put this up for opinions. I'm interested in doing the "Entrelac Shell" from the last Knit'N'Style and have started with this varigated yarn. I love the rich colors, but I'm not sure I like the way it is striping. I'd hoped for more pooling -- puddles of color rather than stripes which just aren't by nature my thing. But I have no experience with knitting in this style, so I'm not sure what the finished product might look like from a normal distance. No shaping in the body. Will the colors blend together a bit? Or will it still seem like stripes gone wild? Opinions? If I want to do this top, I'd probably end up picking up the rest of the yarn for it at the yarn sale on Saturday. Let me know what you think!

entrelac shell

The Morning After

2005-06-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

What a knit-nite! At the local Barnes and Noble once again (We do need to see about rotating through houses again once people are up to it). I will brag about myself first. I have graduated from geometric shapes to fitted garments!

My first shell is done! It is the one with lace from this quarter's Knitty.com. Last night K showed me how to do the single crochet edging around the openings. I still need to take the seemed shoulders apart. Not happy with the look or the length -- it's just a tad long. Anyway. I need to pick apart the seeming and the BO edges, unravel a few rows, and then do a three-needle BO (which, I actually already know how to do! Yeah!) to get a smoother seem.

L., having been traveling for work and the holiday was not in spirits. She seemed unsettled in mind and body and went home early. I'm hoping she gives me a call tonight to let me know how she's doing. If not, I'll pester her tomorrow.

A. makes stunning progress. She can do cables now, figured out errors in the "Knitting on the Edge" pattern she was using, and has started the wrap from this summer's "Knitters" in King Tut Egyptian cotton -- ohhh so soft.

I do wonder about the amount of time she is putting into this -- something another remarked on as well. She's pointed out herself that if she can't excel at something, she walks away. A general philosophy that can cause problems sometimes. I never realized how much I gain from being willing to enjoy what I'm doing, even if I'm not good at it yet or may not become good at it.

I'd never have been able to create Devlin's Dragon, or the picture of Scott (my brother) if I hadn't continued my drawing and decided to try painting the dragon. While my fiction writing is somewhat -- pedantic -- at times, many of my poems are good. I just don't write often anymore -- the intense emotional focus can be hard for me to shake off right now, so I stay away from it for the moment.

As I've noted in the past, I'm a generalist in many ways. No art lessons beyond public grade school. No music lessons either. Theatre proved outlets for many of these activities in the past, but since I haven't worked on a play in -- yikes! -- sixteen years, I've gone back to some of these pursuits. For what painting and drawing I do from time to time, my eyes serve -- I don't seem to need depth perception to do what I do.

I will never be brilliant at any of these things, but they do make me happy -- they enrich my life, just like the elementary ed. philosophies suggest. I can't imagine walking away from things just because I thought I might not be the best at it. Criminy, there's always someone out there who's got more talent or training. I sing, but I don't have perfect pitch. I fuddle around with my guitar, but I haven't managed to master all the chords yet. I've been fuddling off and on with it for five years. I'll get there. I have a lifetime to play with these things. They are for pleasure and for being creative and for sharing with my family -- at least for the most part.

Thought of doing something that she was not good at put terror into A.'s eyes. A difficult situation for her. Childhood training can do so much to us. Knitting is a positive thing to enjoy, and I can't really pass judgement on the amount of time A is putting into it right now -- I've been known to use it for thinking, working through stressful times, and procrastinating myself! (Just one more row and then I'll . . . ) but perhaps this is just another way of working. Her work is beautiful, and she's enjoying the hell out of it. Perhaps that's what she needs most right now.

Hmmm. Oh yes. K. And the Anna Falkenburg. My god this sweater will be gorgeous! Her colors are all brown-y heathery with some green and a bit of rust thrown in. The pictures of the geometric design did nothing for me, but seeing it flow from K's needles is another story -- so fine a stitch gauge, so beautiful a pallet. K is doing a lovely job with it. I sometimes envy her her yarn opportunities -- [sigh] okay, I covet her yarn. That's all there is to it. Often. Always. Maybe it's time to visit her stash and play with it again. I love fondling yarn, even yarn I will never own. I'm such a degenerate that way!

But the job hunt continues. And if I get the résumé's out this week that I've set as a goal, I will allow a small purchase of the four skeins I need of Fantasy Naturale cotton that I need to make the variegated entrelac shell I've started (hah! I learned to do that last night too -- or at least got it started. Such a good learning night for me!) We'll see. I want to have enough worked on the back to see if the colors will pool as I hope or if they will only stripe. if they will only stripe, I will wait until I can get some of this yarn in a solid color. I don't think Stitches has it in solids at this point. But the 20% off sale will have me looking for it bright at early Saturday morning!

We had others dropping in and out which increased the fun and is one of the advantages of holding our sessions there. And the Italian wedding cake and coffee were scrumptious. Gotta love that stuff as well.

Hrummph. Well. If I'm going to get those résumé's out, it's time to get going. More coffee. Off to the computer itself. Time to move.

Okay -- just one more row!

Knitting On

2005-05-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

The knitting continues -- thank god. If it didn't, how could I pretend to justify my yarn purchases? Actually, I haven't bought anything since early April except a couple of skeins of the sock yarn I'm using to make the lace-trimmed shell from the latest issue of Knitty.com. Not too shabby for a confirmed addict!

So, this shell is progressing well. I've finished the back and I'm working on the top of the front now. The majority of the body was knit in the round, so this is just a matter of finishing up the straps and then joining them. It's been a wonderfully satisfying project. I'll have to do another one in some of the Sonata I got from elann. This Sockatta has created a lovely mottled pattern that suits me far better than stripped socks! I've used the yarn doubled to get the gauge, but I'd like to try the next one I do in single strand for a lighter fabric. This will still wear well, even in muggy Missouri, but a variety of fabrics would make it more interesting. Hmmm. Perhaps the single strand would work well for the ribby-shell from chick-knits. I tried the Sonata for that, but felt the fabric became WAY too heavy. I wish I could afford to buy up a bunch of the Paton's Grace. I really prefer the finer gauge yarn. But -- not at five to six bucks a skein right now. [sigh] Ah well. I've a lifetime to knit and should have more money over the course of the next year. Until then, I've enough yarn for several cotton tops this season, and lord knows I'll have enough of a challenge getting them done in time to wear, so I'd best get a winter sweater on the needles if I want one to wear this fall! That lavender alpaca from elann is calling to me!

I've gotten a shrug pattern I like from that last issue of knitty as well. But I'm not sure what I'll make it with. I may try to make it from some of the baby cashmere from elann, but I'm not sure the yarn is thick enough - it might end up being too stringy rather than lacy if I stretch it out by using needles large enough to get the gauge and have the thing actually fit. Hmmm. Lots of pretty things to contemplate. I'm really missing my digital camera again. But I'll see if I can run by K's and get pictures of things soon.

I completely frogged the Shoalwater shawl. It was just too dense on number 9 needles. I may need to purchase 11's, but I'll try the 10's first.

I took a bit of a break today -- only worked on job ads I had. But tomorrow I'll go looking for more. Employment must happen. Maybe I'll be REALLY lucky and end up with dental coverage! I can hope.

Hmmm. Is there any way to get health insurance to cover yarn purchases? Naw. But it will be good to have a regular job again for a bit. I love teaching, but the struggle to read all those papers has been hard on my attitude as well as my eyes. So an appropriate job for my skills and eyes and less to take home at night will be welcome!

How to Stop Going Blind?

2005-05-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

One of the ironies of my life is that Annie Sullivan was my hero, not Helen Keller.

I read the biographies of one woman, was moved, was filled with wonder at Helen's story. I even thought about going to Radcliffe -- in the way that an admiring nine-or-ten-year-old thinks of college and of being a grown-up. But my full-fledged fascination was reserved for Annie, and I combed the biographies for details of her life, her struggles, her power to make things happen.

I have been re-gifted with an amazing amount of vision for daily living that lets me maintain almost complete independence. Yet, eleven years after the fact, I am still struggling to accept the limitations of the vision I re-gained. The numbers are telling: only thirty percent of normal vision still functioning (at the low vision specialist's best estimate), a ten to fifteen minute limit on reading regular print without assistance. The majority of the medical professionals I have worked with, wonderful though they have been, have little understanding of the difference between acuity and functional vision. My retinal surgeon still marvels at my orange glasses -- worn to protect my ravaged retinas from florescent light, blue light, and glare, to enhance the vision I have and give me access to more sharp edges, to crisp pictures, to longer periods of functional vision with less strain.

No one told me in advance that moving the CCD-TV tray fast enough to let me read at my "normal" (un-hampered) pace would make me sea-sick, resulting in more headaches. The low vision specialist diagnosed the problem after several years of struggle and pain. But the general attitude of the professionals was -- okay, you can see now, you can even drive, what's the problem? Why would you need any adaptations? Headaches? Low stamina? Maybe they'll go away. You can drive!

And with that attitude in place, just as my brain spent months -- nay -- years struggling and screeching for more information to fill in the gaps before settling into the task of learning to interpret what it was getting, so I have struggled and continued to try to do the immense amount of reading my profession calls for without accepting the fact that my eyes just won't do it.

I can do almost anything I wish with the vision I re-gained, but not this. Not my chief source of pleasure and intellectual activity. Before this vision loss, I would consume three to four books a week for pleasure or work. Now I cannot get through one without a struggle, and once again my brain is screeching for more information -- faster information.

Other means of getting the information to my brain exist. But there have been problems, even with the magnifiers. Having been a voracious reader, I had learned to take in whole lines at a time, sometimes two or three when working, to skim and move back for important points, to scan whole pages, and move on. A strong magnifier or even an audio book does not allow for this. You must read word by word. Whole lines are rarely visible, or if they are , you have given up magnification to get the whole line, and so reduce the benefit of the magnification.

But there are other ways and means. A full screen-reader on the computer and other audio programs which can be set at high speeds will allow activities that parallel the type of skimming I have been used to.

I'll be shifting more and more to audio over the next few months, and my use of audio whenever possible in the last ten years has allowed me to reach the state where I can not only follow a story-line, but can work critically in audio. But human beings are such visual creatures. The instinct, the desperate instinct to gather information primarily with our eyes is stunning. It shoves aside reason, past experience and the memory of skull-cracking headaches to urge me to pick up a book and read without magnifiers, without even my reading glasses. I can do everything else -- surely with one more attempt, I could do this.

I wonder how much of the habit of this struggle comes from the soul-racking effort to stave off blindness that marks almost any initiation into this world of re-gifted sight. My story is one of sight literally re-gained through experimental surgery. But even those who have experienced a steady loss over time or a sudden irreversible loss of partial sight enter this state of the re-gifted. For once you have lost sight, you are aware of what you have to an amazing degree and fight to use it to best effect. Only those whose loss occurred so far back in childhood as to seem the natural state of the world are exempted from the constant fear of more loss, the heightened awareness and hyper-protectiveness of vision maintained, preserved, salvaged, saved, horded, cherished, mourned.

Nothing in the medical world prepares you for acceptance. No one encourages acceptance -- only struggle. Eleven years ago I horrified the residents and the surgeon involved in restoring my sight by requesting a weekend to decide if I would have the surgery. I was an excellent candidate. The odds of at least preserving what vision I had were overwhelming, and the chances of restoring at least partial center-vision were strong. But I wanted to think it over. I had lost the center vision in both eyes over the course of three years. I was tired -- exhausted -- prostrated from the fight to stop, to hold, to maintain, that had resulted in losses at every turn. Nothing had worked as they said it might. Having gone blind twice, I had to question the wisdom of setting myself up for another loss. I had to ask if it was time to stop fighting the particular battle and get on with life as a blind person.

I sat on the steps of my parents' house in the country. Early October in Indiana. Indian summer. The trees were still green and the wind was strong enough to move them rhythmically. No sharp edges. No distinct images. Just peripheral awareness, and light and color. Donut vision. But still vision of a sort. I remember the greens and browns of the trees, the grey-brown of the wooden porch steps, and the blue of my father's shirt as he came to sit on the step to the left of me.

He did not say a word. He just sat while I looked and thought and gave voice to the exhaustion. The quality of the man's silence was rich and deep, filled with the knowledge of doubt.

He gave no hint of his wishes, though I found out later that my mother was bouncing off the walls of the kitchen trying to contain her instinct to DRAG me into the operating room and hand the doctor the knife. Her recognition of the need to let me make this choice and the strength it took to stay in the kitchen and not push are among her finest moments of parenting, though the picture that comes to mind of her pacing, smoking, shifting old mail on the counter, picking up pens and putting them in a cup, picking up the lighter and putting it down. Moving the cigarette pack, opening cabinets, and looking in the freezer, only to move back to the counter, to the lighter, to the ashtray -- I have to grin. She must have been about to explode!

How my father sat beside me in quiet compassion without urging one course or the other, I'll never know. But he sat. He murmured a few things. But for the most part, he just kept me company while I made my choice.

I chose the surgery. I chose the struggle. I re-gained my vision. I walk with a blind cane and drive a car. I can see tree leaves, and a spider's web, the moon, and even some of the stars at night. But I cannot read without help. And I cannot use my eyes to read the quantity of print my life as a teacher and my life as a student require.

I gave up counted cross-stitch and took up my knitting needles instead. Though I still love the color and texture of cross-stitch, and envy the friends who can work with the pallet of flosses and fine linen, my aversion to the confusion of the printed charts is visceral -- nausea and a mental flinching even knowing I will not be required to read the pattern. I don't like the fact that I can't do it now. But I've learned to accept it.

After eleven years, perhaps it's time to stop struggling for that in other ways. As I asked once before -- am I allowed to stop fighting? My father had no answer for me.

When people ask about "being blind," I've often said that going blind is much worse than being blind, and leave them to figure it out.

Perhaps it is time I stop going blind.

WIP's

2005-04-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

Too many items on the needles. Too many papers to grade. Too many items to read, review, or write for my degree. Too many WIP's in every part of life!

I shift from being excited by all I am doing to being overwhelmed by all that I've started.
I'm working on the little moss-stitch dress from "Special Knits" for my niece. I've got my Shoalwater Shawl partially done, but can't figure out how to include the yarn with bits of color that I wanted to carry along intermittently. I can't get it to look right.
I've pulled out a top that I'd very much like to finish (started last fall) but I need the time to pick out my errors in the neckline and work my way back into the pattern. I've started a lovely ribbed shell (from Chick-knits) and need to get back to that, but want to finish the dress first. [sigh]. I am, perhaps, a little impatient at the moment. Just nameless gnawing anxiety. But this seems to be one of those periods in the pattern of life that has me running so fast I'm in serious danger of forgetting to enjoy what I'm doing!

So I've scheduled time for myself -- both structured and unstructured. I've also started to limit my "multi-tasking" -- sometimes it's NOT better to work on two things at once. Allowing myself to concentrate on ONE task at a time, for fun or work, brings some of the joy back to it and removes some of the needless "frantic flavoring" that I've been tasting in all tasks of late.
A friend from KR wrote me recently about her vision of heaven as a beautiful puzzle, in which she had to be herself and maintain her proper shape to fit her section of the puzzle, but there were people on the other side, completely different from herself, whose edges would not fit with hers, but who were just as essential to the puzzle, and to the beauty of the picture as she; they too were required to keep their shapes to fit in their portion of the picture. And though we could not see it, all is necessary for the whole.

It's a lovely picture. And I've been contemplating it as I knit, wondering if life at large, and my life specifically can be represented that way. I think so, if the puzzle is extended through time. I am not who I was, though who I was, was necessary to my life at the time. My shapes and soul have changed, my mind, my responses, my ideas of myself and others. I'm learning not to try to force myself to accept those whose edges don't match mine, but at times I feel like a child's learning puzzle, with the edges curled and worn, rounded and peeling with learning and struggle. With all my WIP's, I feel fragmented and distressed by it. But sorting is necessary. I've never liked working on puzzles much, but I do it by assembling chunks as I find the bits that match. Eventually I can recognize how the sections go together. But I still have a child's unholy glee at crumbling the picture into pieces again; and as a child I preferred to re-make it as I wished once I've seen what the designer did. This makes for awkward bits and odd combinations, to be sure. But it was fun!

Stitch Markers

2005-04-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

While I was finishing up Ene's Scarf/shawl, an interesting exchange took place on KR about trying to use stitch markers for this project. Unfortunately, for the bulk of the lace of the body, stitch markers didn't work because the double decrease kept shifting its place in the pattern repetition.

Finished Ene's Scarf

This makes for the lovely "organic" mesh rather than clearly defined columns or chunks of pattern. I really enjoyed working on this section of this scarf. But others talked about continuing to use the stitch markers and just shifting them back and forth, while a couple of other people used the stitch markers for seven to ten rows and then "knit without the net" and took them off.

At the same time this was going on, other interactions in my life have had me wishing life came with stitch markers! Well, it does -- some at least. Family. Obligations. Loan payments . But if life came with stitch markers, which ones would they be and how would you use them?

Stitch markers come in so many different designs. I tend to collect the solid ring markers -- the plastic ones in different colors, the bulky white ones, the small black rubber ones. But there are other stitch markers out there as well. Split markers that can be taken on and off with no hassle. Coil-less safety pins that stay put with the safety of a ring, but can still be taken off and shifted. And of course, the dangly beaded ones that I covet for no useful reason other than that they make me smile.

My next question parallels the discussion on KR. When should stitch markers be removable and when not? How to select different markers for different pattern breaks? Can you change half-way through an item? What if you forget what the marker means? When are "social" stitch markers a luxury and when must they be kept firmly in place? And when markers travel down the knitting, when do you shift them up? Every row? Whenever you need to see them? More often to help you keep your place with less effort?

Do some people need/like stitch markers more than others? In knitting and in life? How to negotiate the conflicts between the fact that in life, most of my stitch markers are split and easily shifted, but others seem to want THEIR stitch markers to be solid rings in the pattern. It’s a sticky issue.

In knitting it's much easier. I choose and use to suit myself. I'm currently knitting a ribbed camisole in the round and not using any markers at all. I'll need to put some in when I get to the neckline and the arm-holes. But not before. It never occurred to me to try to use stitch markers with Ene's scarf, but with the stole I'm designing using several patterns from Barbara Walker's Second Treasury, you can bet those solid little rings will be right there telling me which panel I'm working on at any given moment. I'll probably even color-code.

There's no set answer. But there are days when I wish life DID come in a knitting kit complete with needles, yarn, and color-coded markers all picked out. Some days I just don't want to have to choose or to deal with the frogging that comes with not picking the right way to go! Hmmm. Do you think I could find one on-line? Nothing like fair-isle of course but . . . . ah well, back to the top.

Revising Perspectives

2005-03-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

It's amazing to recognize the change in perspective that comes with release from a 36-hour migraine. All life's pursuits, work or play, become easy rather than a drain, fulfilling rather than a way to maintain time and sanity.

I've been finishing up the Ene's scarf for mom while listening to my comps reading this morning. It's not quite done, but I've almost finished the last repetition of chart 3 and will then just have the upper edging to finish with chart 4. The repetitions within the lines have gotten to be so few that I'm startled by how fast I'm done with a row.

The construction of this scarf made the initial stages maddening for me -- cast on all stitches for the two sides of the triangle and reduce the number of stitches as you work your way up, filling in the middle of the "cone" as you make your way up to the center-back. It was so hard to see any real progress for the first 30 rows or so that I was often discouraged -- especially since the frogging that is a natural part of my learning process when working on a pattern involved so MANY stitches and so much un-knitting and knitting as I tried to get the sequences right. Frustrating is too mild a word. Maddening is better. Anyway, I love the look and drape of the shawl, so I'll undoubtedly make more with this basic structure -- I'm already lusting after the flower basket shawls I've seen on others' blogs!

Lace Lust. I think it'd make a great book title!
Maybe someday.

Well, I've joined my first knit-a-long (KAL). The button for it is up, and it is, naturally, for lace shawls. This will get me moving on my own mohair shoalwater shawl -- I'd like to get some wear out of it before July and August make it impractical!

I'm job hunting again. Scheduling with Dillards could not be worked out. I think I'm going to ask to speak with someone at B&N about the jobs they have available, to determine "if my applications are appropriate" -- yep, a way to point out that I am actually capable of doing the necessary work. My only real concern about working there is that I might come to hate the place -- and then what would we do for the knit-nights that aren't at someone's house? Hmm. I'll stop by the second hand book store to see if they need a clerk too.

This is only my second job-hunt with blind-cane in hand, so I'm still somewhat nervous and uncertain about what I should do. I need a second job by late April -- so I'm debating about going in for a position someplace like Wal-Mart without the cane. The stress/worry about tripping will drive me nuts at first, but I frequently don't use the cane in familiar places anyway -- at least those I know have flat floors! Example: I use it to get too my classrooms to teach, but I don't use it while teaching. I just make sure the floor is clear before I start so I can walk around at will.

I get a little lightheaded at first, since I don't have depth perception and can't see where my feet are going to land (visual field blockages). But once I'm used to the space, I do okay -- usually. Hell. I don't need more stress eating up energy I can't afford to waste. Hell and blast! What a quandary.

Recognizing my need for the cane has also been a major part of accepting who I am -- resolving my images of myself with and without visual problems. It also keeps me from breaking my ankles and reduces my anxiety levels. It's funny how much it can mean to me to be certain of where the floor is! On many levels, I just don't think applying and trying to work without the cane are practical -- I've chosen to be very straight forward about the vision impairment and what requires modification or can't be done. After my experiences with the durable medical equipment company when I lost the vision in the second eye, I'm not interested in wasting my time working with people who have a problem with my visual losses. It's jut not worth my energy when we're talking about jobs I have no interest in turning into a career.

But to be totally honest, I need the money, damn it. I want to do work I'm capable of doing and get paid for it so I can continue to work on this degree and move onto my "real" career eventually.

Well, clerking is a good way to go for me, but I'll have to convince people that I can handle the stocking tasks involved. Reception work would also be good. I've a great phone voice (all that theatre training had to pay off sometime) and plenty of experience being patient with people. Hmmm. We'll see. We'll see. Resumes and rest today. More knitting and reading and writing and grading. Job hunting and office hours tomorrow. Sounds like a plan. Wouldn't it be great to get a job that would allow me to knit too? Okay, I know. Asking too much here!
I wish I could take the knitting to job interviews -- maybe it would be a good prop for demonstrating my ability to do detail work despite the visual losses? Nope. It would just be a security blanket, and look unprofessional too. Harrummmph.

Sit and Knit at My House!

2005-03-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

Sit and Knit Night

Wednesday we had Sit and Knit at my house – yeah! This means that I actually cleaned and straightened and polished wood, etc. Now that the event is over, the empty coffee and end tables are making me nervous. Perhaps I should randomly stack books on them to increase my comfort level? Seriously, I was pleased with the gleaming wood, candles, and comfy atmosphere. I enjoy entertaining and need to do more when I can!

Well, the highlight of the night had to be when A. realized that she'd knit 83 inches of ribbon belt for her daughter who wears a size 4 business suit! A. was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face -- an she knew that this wasn't going to fit into a plastic egg for Easter unless L’eggs started making them again!

My three teapots all got a workout, so we had plenty of choices for refreshment, and I used different cups and saucers for each person, so some of the china got a workout as well! K. Really liked the Adagio white tea she had going in the small pot, and L. Enjoyed Hartley and son's Cinnamon Sunset. A. had some of each, and I alternated from Blackberry Sage to green over the course of the night.

I've gotten the blue Ene's shawl back up past the last point I frogged it; L.'s sweater from White Lies is REALLY coming along. That colony blue yarns she has from elann -- the alpaca-tensile blend -- is gorgeous!

K. stopped work on her chocolate wool lace -- a circular feather and fan from "A Gathering of Lace” to assess the gauge and decided to start over on a larger needle.

I've been working on teaching and on my readings this week, so I haven't gotten as much done as I'd like, but today should help! I've got errands to run before going to lunch with another friend -- and one is to pick a replacement for my Natura size 2 bamboo circ's. I fell asleep knitting and rolled over on them and broke them!!!!! Felt like a real dork. I've lost so many needles to Kala's munching, and now I break one I'm in the middle of using!!!!!

I really enjoyed having people over. We'll be at B&N next week. I hope A. joins us again. This was her first night with us, and lord she was funny!

Well, gotta get on with the day. Sunshine and opportunities for chattering with friends call me from the computer and out into the world!

Knitting Life

2005-03-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this phrase -- "What feeds your knitting life." And I wonder if it's not what feeds my knitting so much as that knitting helps feed my life in general.

Patons outback mohair -- yummy -- I want a shawl first and then a sweater.

Sustenance. Comfort. Creation. Pattern. Success. Release. Tactile, emotional, rational. And capable of being reworked with little penalty and no shame.

Here is the Misty garden Scarf I did as a lark -- saw it; knit it; loved it. A total impulse!

Cowl neck sweater with bell sleeves from IK. This is an acrylic, because I hadn't found the Paton's mohair and wanted a non-scratchy sweater. I'm just ready to start the decrasing rounds.

Others have mentioned anxiety and stress and "feeding" their knitting life. While knitting does help me take care of these emotions, the emotions don't actually add to the quality of my knitting enjoyment. They can provide energy -- but it is just that - an exchange of energy from negative to positive. But I don't see these exchanges as 'feeding' my knitting. For me it is the difference between continuation and growth. Negative emotions may provide energy for continuation. But growth finds its power elsewhere.

The number of color variations surprised me!

What contributes to the growth of my knitting life? Chat, pictures, textures, tactile sensations (I LOVE playing with yarn!) smells, photos in magazines, fun, fancy, group energy and anticipation. My own determination to get the pattern to work out properly.

Misty Garden -- more a misty lake in these colors -- but I love the results.

All these things push me toward new techniques, new fibers, ideas and imaginings that make my fingers twitch for the feel of yarn and grope for needles to begin the process of forming fabrics.

On the other side of this equation, rest the contributions knitting has made to my life. It often "feeds" my life with the joy and power of creating, the pleasure of getting attention and compliments for what I've made or am making, the feeling of doing something special.

I find it far too easy to identify my "failures" in life. Choices that have lead to bad patches, procrastination that frustrates everyone involved, (even me!), periods of depression which not only eat up chunks or years of my life, but then require additional time, resources, energy and anxiety to remedy. It is easy to feel a failure.

But in the midst of one session of "climbing back out of the pit" someone pointed out to me that as long as I'm not dead, I can't have failed -- I'm not done yet. This thought did a good job of getting my attention rationally at the time. But I don't know that I felt it emotionally until just recently.

I just frogged a complicated piece of lace I'm making for my mother. This is the fourth frogging, and in-between there have been many many sessions of unknitting multiple rows to sort out a problem.

Just before frogging. The shading is a little bright, but I love the pattern definition.

Oddly enough (for me) I do not feel I am failing at this. With each re-start, I become more confident in the sections I've worked before and get farther into the pattern.

I'd gotten this far without realizing I was 14 stitches off in placing the center.

I've had to alternate skeins as the alpaca becomes to soft/fuzzy to make the crisp forms needed for the outer edging, but the frogged yard will work well for the less articulated center section of the shawl. It is not at all ruined, only moved to another position in the whole.

Better idea of the mist blue-grey of the alpaca.

As long as I do not give up, I cannot fail. And the garment becomes richer with each attempt -- more full of emotion and that earnest little-girl need to get the present for Mommy just right. If I wake to find glue or construction paper in my hair, I won't be surprised.

Perhaps this is the image of myself -- for meditation or for simple reflection -- that will be the most productive for me. I am knitting life -- sometimes I can choose my materials; sometimes I must knit with what is at had. I can re-work, re-form, frog, and re-start, put in safety lines, count and recount, alternate needle sizes, and continue to play with pattern, form, and the fascinating play of color, texture, design, and accident. Knitting life is a verb/object combination for me, rather than the adjective-noun combo that the KR topic presumed. I feel I have so many fragments to knit up, ends to weave in. But there are techniques for this; it is a known and expected element of knitting, rather than an indication of poor choices or workmanship. Yes. Knitting life is what I want to do. I've done plenty of frogging. Now I must get back to casting on and picking up stitches!

Morning Re-boot

2005-02-23T08:12:00.000-08:00

Morning. Coffee. Dogs. A computer keyboard and time to enjoy all of them. Gonna be a good day.

This blog suffered quite an interruption. I got a THIRD dog. She ate my digital camera. I spent some time battling lung infections and asthma, survived my first Christmas in retail (my second job) broke my toe stepping on a dog toy, and had a computer hard drive crash. Hmmm. Yep. That sums up the things that have kept me from blogging.

Kala, 18-mo.-old. Husky.

I didn't realize until I found my camera in bits how much I think the pictures are an integral part of this record. Still very attached to to the visual -- perhaps more so since I'm relying on vision restored.

I've been wearing the Ostrich Plumes shawl and getting many compliments -- I love having actually made something that turned out as pretty as I wanted it to be! However, I've decided that the narrower stole-width is not working for me, so I've been creating a longggggg roll of Buttercup lace edging to attach. Not much left to go. I know I'll put it on three sides, but I haven't decided about the collar -- maybe reversed so it lays on my shoulders? We'll see.

Finished Ostrich Plumes shawl

Other knitting news? I finished the castle scarf for my nephew -- and accidentally felted it. So now it's a magic castle scarf -- he can still see the castle if he holds it up to the light.

I've started on mom's scarf from Scarf Style for the -- hmmm -- third? Fourth? Time. Add several sessions of "unknitting" in there. But I think I have it this time. It's the most complicated lace I've done so far, and I've had to learn to spot mistakes early -- more than a row or two later and it's almost impossible to find and correct at this point in my learning. I knit and unknit so much I've had to start with a fresh skein, but this seems to be going well this time! Past the worst transition in the pattern and going strong.

Hmm. That's about all I've got for a "catching up" entry. But KR has an interesting thread going on "What feeds your knitting life." I may be running my answer to that through here soon.

Ostrich Plumes Complete!

2004-11-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

So as it turns out, academic conferences are GREAT for knitting! Finished my trip to St. Louis (paper delivered, hotel enjoyed, downtown LYS not open), and I'm rarin' to go on my own academic work again. And what do you know, the day after I'm home, the shawl is complete. I like the natural waves of the edges, so I'm not adding a trim. Washing and blocking remain for tonight/tomorrow. Pics of the unblocked plumes soon.

I've started swatching a gift for my mother, but will need to be careful what I say here -- not sure if they will read this or not. I'm also making a scarf for my nephew with a castle panel on the ends -- and I'll probably do a sweater with the same. He was a knight for Halloween -- this should suit him!

Pics soon. Must go grade.

Independent Great-Aunt Syndrome

2004-10-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

So who were these women? And how did they construct their ilves?

Signatures and the back to a concentric square quited blanket.

Maybe it's because they were young girls during World War I. Maybe it's because they were working women in the 20's and 30's. I know they had offers. I know they were happy. I know one even had a long-term affair. [Oh -- so THAT's who that man in the picture in her room was!]

Workbasket and tools

But my family history is filled with single great-aunts, independent, quirky, "accomplished" in a modern sense and in ways more common to generations of women before them.

I have their paintings -- one a beautiful watercolor of a boat on the water at sunset in a fine sublime style reminiscent of Claude Lorraine. I have their jewelry -- a collection much enhanced by the competition between two sister-school-teachers. I have quilts and quilt-tops, woven baskets with fine metal crochet hooks and squares of half-worked Irish linen.

Tools and Workings

I have knitted and crocheted toys, and cards with copper-plate handwriting that came with money for me to spend on my own.
When I turned sixteen, I inherited the '69 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme with the 350 Rocket engine that was the last car one of these women bought -- at the age of 78.

I'm not a great-aunt. I've just become an aunt for the second time -- and been granted my first niece. But as dating gets stranger, and more difficult, and as I become more independent and happier with myself and my life, I begin to wonder . . . what did these women choose? Might I like it?

Most were kind, engaging, a couple were down-right crazy. One was a mean old bitty when I knew her, convinced that every nursing home was engaged in a conspiracy to kill her.

But I have other memories of her -- when she was younger and in reasonable health, directing the family Thanksgiving dinner at the house she shared with her two single sisters. She taught me to play the card game "Crazy 8" and gave me packets from Scholastic with coloring books and Highlights magazines. She was self-possess and well dressed. Almost scary in her power and in the strangeness of her -- at least to a 5 or 6-year old.

But these women seemed to have something that I might like to have myself -- that I have seen my mother gain as she's built a life she didn't plan for after my father's unexpected death.

Is it/ Was it self-determination? Only that? Was it just the awareness that they'd made their own choices and would continue to do so, without the entanglements of a nuclear family?

Signature quilt top

Having gone from keeping her father's house to keeping MY father's house while working and raising her children, my mother now eats spaghetti sauce that comes from a jar, loves her George Foreman grill, and pleases herself by planting mums in cauldrons this month outside her single story apartment porch.

While she has admitted that it would be nice now and again to have someone to go to dinner with, she has no interest in maintaining a relationship with anyone new at this point. She's not interested in coordinating her life to maintain a steady date or in having to let someone know if she's going to work late or suddenly decides to go shopping instead of heading home.

It's not the life she planned or envisioned. Nor is mine what I'd envisioned. But it's a good life.

I really like not having to justify my yarn purchases to anyone but myself or the dogs (the cats are always encouraging me to get more!).

I married the wrong man for the wrong reasons while severely depressed. I left him and got a divorce. I'm not against the idea of marriage -- I think I just applied it wrong. But this other life is what I have -- and I have many role models for it that I've rarely considered.

Much of my single life as a young woman was filled with the need to "fit in" by having a boyfriend or lover. Filled with the need to be needed, and the need to be wanted. These are lousy forces for directing life. They led me to compromises I would not make again. They tinge life with a desperation and a dependence on others for happiness. Shared joy is stifled by such desperation.

So now I'm contemplating this life that I have -- and wondering if perhaps I've been overlooking a life that could grant me what I want. Peace, happiness, fulfillment, joy and connection with my family. These things are here. Choosing to enjoy this existence instead of always hunting for another doesn't mean I can't change my mind if someone special comes along. And I'm far too fond of men to ignore them altogether!

quilt tops

But if I plan for what I want from what I have in and of myself -- perhaps the sweater will fit. Perhaps it is more like knitting from the top, down. Easier to tailor, easier to be happy with. And no seeming!

Perhaps I'm stretching the knitting metaphor, but these accomplished great-aunts intrigue me. Their knitting and crocheting baskets intrigue me. The joy and self-possession evident in several have me longing to know what they learned about living by living independently, while enjoying their extended family. And I wonder . . . .

Workbasket and tools

Shawls and hats

2004-10-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

Hi,

This is in response to a thread on KR. I've gotten the pictures up to show a rectangular shawl, what can be done, and one way to wear them -- at least, a way I find comfortable.

Elfin Lace shawl with "openwork" edging

Elfin Lace

2004-10-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

I love this pattern, but this shawl is for a friend. It's done in a very soft cotton that sheds more than I could wish, but is soft and comfortable. When I make another, it will be in a firmer fiber, a polished cotton or a wool-blend perhaps.

This is longer than I'd usually wear -- I've finished it recently for a friend who is several inches taller than I am.

2004-10-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

brown everyday shawl

2004-10-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

Back left shoulder of Elfin Lace Shawl

Kendall Delane Porter -- my niece.

2004-10-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

Gotta love my sister-in-law. She got not just one or two, but NINE pictures to me, and they have to be some of the best. The shots with Dev are great. He is a sweet little man. And the shot with Peggy is just marvleous! Scotty's (ooops, SCOTT) is looking great too. I love seeing him with his kids!

These are the people for whom I knit, live, and love. And this is the newest member of our pack. Welcome Kendall. I'll get knitten, kitten!

Devlin Drake Porter, 4 and Kendall Delane Porter -- a few days old.

Dimple? Where's the dimple?

2004-10-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

She's hiding it, but there's supposed to be a dimple in that chin -- just like her Aunt Christy's!

Kendall Delane Porter - Born October 11, 2004

2004-10-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the World

2004-10-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

Proud Big Brother

2004-10-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

Scott, Dev and Kendall "Meeting Baby Sister"

It's Fun to Frog!

2004-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Coffee, pets, computer. Okay. The day is beginning correctly. Only real problem -- I STILL haven't gotten a picture of my niece -- but who can blame them! I would much rather play with her than argue with e-mail over sending pictures!

Good news -- I get to be a tester for a baby-hat design I admire and want to try for her. Yeah! The pattern arrived in my box late yesterday, so I'll read through it today and get back to the author. MUCH more fun than doing one from a book. I'm excited!

Other news -- I frogged it. YES, I'm talking about he Ostrich Plumes shawl. Lovely as it was becoming, I was using needles too small. A friend pointed out the depth of the eggcrating and echoed my concerns about proper blocking. So. After some thought -- I frogged it.

The nice thing about the frogging was that I did it in company, and once started, a friend joined in and giggled a real giggle for the first time in awhile. (Come on -- admit it -- it CAN be like popping those packing bubbles in it's own way. NOTHING beats packing bubbles -- except more and bigger packing bubbles-- but frogging can be entertaining when you're not too distressed about it!)

So, I've started again on size 8's. Not addi's, I'm still building my collection. But it's progressing. About three inches as of last night. I'll knit a bit this morning before grading papers. The fabric is softer now that I've loosened the stitches and --well -- more spongy. But I still love the color and the depth created by using two different, but similar strands of yarn. I wonder what's the effect of using 3? Does it get too bulky? Can you still see pattern stitches? Might be an interesting experiment.

I've also started a list of possible "quick" projects for Christmas. I saw the puppy and kitten scarves in -- I think it's Women's Day's first "Quick and Easy Crocheting and Knitting" mag. Toooo cute by half. One for each? Stockings? I'd love to get a top-down sweater done for Dev by Christmas, but doubt my ability to take please in the math between now and then. Brain's too full of other work.

I've also been contemplating contemplation. Funny, huh? More on that later. Gotta get going.

Ostrich Plumes in Progress

2004-10-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

As you can see, the Ostrich Plumes are progressing! Actually, un-blocked, they remind me of the eye in a peacock feather more than anything else.

Ostrich Plumes in Progress

I'm trying to decide what to work on tonight, in-betwixt grading and posting student papers. This certainly, but I might cast that Highland Triangle shawl back on again -- my counter kept rolling and messing me up. I got frustrated; it got frogged!

That would be a good one. Hmmm. I'm not ready to dive into the Lillies of the Valley mohair shawl; too tuckered and frazzled for that much thought.

Good news? Ah yes, a new pair of Addi's and a copy of Barbara Walker's Knitting from the Top arrived today. I read the first chapter, but my head's too tired for the math at the moment. I'll start out with a sweater for Dev and go from there. Smaller and less math -- less investment if I have to from. Need to figure out the yarn though. I've got to quit buying until I can save up the cash.

Well, the stash has some interesting items. Hmmmmm.

Connected Again!

2004-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, the relief. To be able to post from my own home while slurping coffee and fending off pets.

I must say that being disconnected was good for the knitting! The purple Ostrich Plumes shawl is now at least a 15 - 18 inches and growing fast. I'm worried about the size again, but must allow for blocking. And if not, well, there's always frogging and doing it again on larger needles. Hmmmmm. 'Twould make me most grumpy though!

I still haven't figured out what to use of the moss green Katmandu shawl. No mohair with this one. I really like eyelet patterns -- lacy but not so airy as to be useless as a winter garment. Maybe the snowflake eyelet? I don't like the fawn's eyes; it gives me the creeps for some reason!

Well. More later. Gotta run. Oh -- got a new jump drive. Maybe this means I'll find the old one! More pictures later today or tonight since my home unit is up and running.

My lord what a mornin'

2004-10-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

Good Grief!

Woke after a major storm last night with a major headache/earache. The storm killed my modem so I couldn't get what I needed to grade. I didn't have my gadget, so I didn't know what time my appointments started -- I missed the first one!

On the other side of things, I got a good four inches of the Ostrich plumes shawl done yesterday. I really like the way this is turning out. I was afraid it was too narrow, but have decided that with blocking, it will be perfect! Happy Christy!

I also won my very first eBay bid! a two pound cone of alpaca -- purple-blue, in lace weight -- so maybe I can use it for that jacket? It's well over 2000 yards. Hmmmm. So now I get to see how great this e-bay stuff is. The seller had a rating of 99.6% happy customers. SO I thought is was worth the rest -- and I'll be using paypal. Security there. Hmmmm. I'm still leery, but it's only 40 bucks for the yarn, so maybe this will be okay. I HOPE so!

I'd LOVE to do that jacket in this purple. Only way to find out is to try! Gotta quit buying yarn though! Must get Rx forms sent in to get insurance money back! THEN I can pay off misc. and sundry and buy more knitting stuff. I'm still looking for a bag that I'd like. We'll see how it goes. Well. Time to turn this laptop in to the school. Gotta get home. Can't believe I'll be without internet access! I've become a real junky! We'll see how it goes!

2004-10-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

This, of course, is Lance saying it's time to quit playing with my electronic toys and play with HIM! It was supposed to be a shot of the collapsible arms on this chair.

2004-10-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Here's a shot of my WIP in daylight -- the grumpy cat is 12-yr-old lady who objects to having her sunny spot co-opted for pictures!

2004-10-16T09:08:00.001-07:00

This is my knitting chair. It's actually a tatting chair that is several generations old. I love it for the gaudy detailing and the fact that my feel touch the floor! The adjustable arms are also nice!

2004-10-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

This is my newly created knitting space. I just re-potted the plants and brought them inside a few days ago.

2004-10-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Purple Ostrich plumes and a mint green Karabella Lace Mohair swatch. The blue counter came through well, but the yarn doesn't look at all right.

Blurry, but mine~

2004-10-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I haven't quite got the hang of photographing my knitting yet. Any suggestions? The pics above of my purple Ostrich Plume scarf/shawl in progress seem like a bad black and white to me -- of course, it is 2:30 in the morning -- natural light might change everything! Time for bed.